Monday, April 30, 2007

Mucky Monday

Actually wasn't a bad day. Took kid to school. Wrote a poem, but had all kinds of problems with it. Master actaully slept good last night for a change so he was in a good mood. Had baby most of the day. Took her to the park and wore her out a bit. We had fun. Watched two movies with my teen. Had popcorn doing them. Cleaned up after baby finaly went home, now am exhausted and ready for bed. Other then that not to much going on.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Sunday fun day

This girl was being naughty in chat. She was a bit hyper and it showed. Running around and cyber kissing and groping everyone. Wanting to play for real she logged off and went to Master’s computer room. Sitting on his lap she logged back in to say goodnight to one and all. Obviously Master was in a playful mood as well. Before girl had even said good night her boobs where hanging out of her shirt, and he reached down and ripped her underwear almost all the way off. Horribly misspelling girl barely managed to say goodbye and vanish from room. Going to room she threw herself on bed still dressed to have Master roll in right behind her with an evil gleam in his eye. Throwing himself on bed as well, he reached down beside his bed and came up with a wicked looking huge black survival knife. Placing it at her neck he told her to take off her top and quickly. She hurriedly complied as the blade pricked her skin sending shivers through her. He ran the wicked blade down her chest and around her nipples, while she moaned as the edge barely dug in her skin raising little welts in its path. Bringing it back to her throat he told her to take off her pants yet not to move too much or he might accidentally draw blood. Slowly with just one hand she slipped her jeans over her hips and down her legs, till she could kick them off. Good girl he told her approvingly as he leaned down to kiss her deeply. Grabbing the remnants of her underwear he took the knife and cut them off her body. Taking her choke chain and leash from his bedside drawer he placed them on her. Leaning over he took her breast in his mouth sucking hard. When she moaned loudly he pulled the chain till she got quiet with the collar cutting into her windpipe. Leaning down he took her biggest dildo and shoved it deep in her wet pussy. She pulled back a little at the intrusion, but only momentary as the collar once again tightened on her throat. Staying still and silent as her Master used her body as he pleased. Grabbing her hair he yanked her to him, and they kissed deeply and passionately. Taking her breasts in his mouth he sucked and bit the nipple as he dropped the dildo and stuck two fingers deep in her cunt. She cried out and pleasure and writhed against his chest. His thumb stroked her clit, even as he continued plundering her silken depths. He whispered in her ear to cum, and she did shuddering as her warm fluid dripped over his fingers. He smiled before tugging her leash and pulling her to him once again. He held her close for a few minutes stroking her back till her quivering climax stopped. Turning her over on to her stomach he directed her to her hands and knees. Grabbing the leather sheath his survival knife had been in he spanked her ass cheeks till they were red and throbbing. Anytime she’d cry out to loudly he’d pull the leash, and she’d immediately quiet down like a good girl. When he was done he held her still like that while he ran his large warm hands over her red throbbing bottom. His touch bringing relief and a deep hunger in her, she pushed back against his hand wantonly with her ass. Till he spread her ass cheeks and entered her roughly. Dropping her leash he grabbed her tits and pulled her nipples in time to each deep thrust of his hips. Without his hand on her leash she moaned loudly throwing back her head in enjoyment. He grabbed her hair and yanked it hard adding to the incredible sensations she was feeling. Pain and pleasure combined and cascaded over her body till once again she was screaming in ecstasy as she came hard her juices flowing down her inner thighs, as his spurted deep inside her sending warmth flooding through her body. Collapsing to the side he pulled her over on top of him and held her close as there heartbeats slowly calmed and returned to normal. Running his hand down her long red hair, he told her what a good slut she was. Thank you Master she murmured sleepily as she lay on his chest. Happy to be his slave, and plaything always.


Ok this girl has a bit of overactive imagination. Of course this is all true except the part apart anal penetration. as most know my husband is a t3 paraplegic so this would be very hard to accomplish. We use mainly toys for penetration or this girl rides him. When writing this girl writes what she really feels happen as sometimes she is blindfolded her unable to see what Master does while she is shackled to bed posts. This was last night today this girl wasn't so good. Everytime Master asked her to do something she sighed. No reason for it she was just tired and didn't feel like moving, but it was uncalled for and she is sorry for it.


Saturday, April 28, 2007

sexy saturday


Well day got off to a very bad start actually. This girl woke up nips weren't hurting at last, and she was ready to play. Master though still isn't sleeping well and wasn't ready to play so told girl to go take a bath. Well this girl doesn't take rejection well so stormed off to take bath and didn't return for hours. Finaly came back to get Master's clothes and don't know what went wrong from there. Master said this girl was being disrespectfull and needed the whip. Some reason this girl just couldn't face the whip today and refused to step foot in room. Now since Master was on bed and not in his chair he couldn't reach girl. He told her she'd better get down and take punishment she refused. Finaly he took her tag away, and siad she wasn't good enough to wear it. This really hurt as her dog tags mean a lot to her. She left room unhappy Master stayed in room unhappy, and wasn't a good situation. This girl does what she usually does when unhappy. She wrote Master a note trying to explain her feelings. This girl doesn't like being whipped, and if she's going to be whipped just feels it aught to be for a good reason. Sometimes Master says she glares when she doesn't mean to, and sometimes there is a reason behind her attitide and it would be better to find reason then just to unreasonably punish girl for being human and showing her feelings. Well after Master read letter he called girl to him. They hugged and made up. Laster in afternoon they had some make up sex which is the best, and the day improved from then on. This girl is truly sorry for the fight. She trusts and loves her Master, and doesn't try to dissapoint him on purpose. She just truly feels the whip should be for serous infractions only. Maybe Master can find other punishments for less serous infractions. Standing in a corner or whatever. Am sure Master truly doesn't wish girl to be scared to come and talk to him, becouse of the whip. Well she had no computer most of the day as well for punishment. Am glad it's over now, and Master gave girl back her tags. It's not easy being a Master with one such as me. Love you always Sir. Submissivly yours, Master Ed's dark angel

Friday, April 27, 2007

Yea it's Friday!!!


This girl was in a great mood all day. In fact felt pretty playfull all day. Unfortunitly Master wasn't feeling is well. He didn't sleep well last night at all. He had muscle spasms in his stumps all night long. This girl forgot to lay his clothes out this morning so that didn't help. Then daughter forgot to pack for her weekend trip so had to come all the way home after getting her from school, let her pack then take her to her granma's house. Then we got there and they weren't home. Even though Master had asked if they'd be there, and they said yes. We had to wait over 20 minutes for someone to show up. Finaly after it got quiet at home and we talked a bit he started feeling better. We watched a show togather, and he groped me. Not sure if will play much at bedtime or not as where both tired, but the weekend with no daughter is looking very good. Now this girl went to bed early, and has had a pretty good day. Her friend Jaqui joined my dungeon space, and they had some wicked fun playing in chat there. Also her other friend Pam has her connection back up so is back online after a long haitus. They also played in chat for a while. Got rid of the teen. Master bought this girl a corn dog basket for dinner, so she didn't have to cook tonight. This girls cat has to fat healthy roly poly loudmouthed kittens. Life is good.(as long is no slapping)






Thursday, April 26, 2007

Thursday April 26, 2007


Well another banner day for this girl. Can't seem to not pout, and have attitude some days. Master made her sleep with no underwear last night. Can't seem to sleep well completly nude for some reason, so am very hot, tired, and cranky this morning. Promised Master no attutude today, so trying to just stay away from him. Master not only banned underwear, he wouldn't let this girl cover up for over an hour. Of couse she kept trying to sneak sheet back over herself so the time kept being lengthened. He also told her no underwear today, but girl is hoping he forgot. Wearing pants that are to big and they keep falling down so no underwear would not be a good thing today. It's over 80* degrees today am sweating horribly. My new kittens are doing well though. Very loud mouths which is a good thing. Every now and then there mother sits on them and they let her know very quickly. Really need a schedule. This girl just waste to much time doing nothing during the day. Just can't seem to make one and stick to it. Will let you know tomorrow if succeeded in one day without attitude. Huggssssss to any and all who read this girls blog, even if that's only Master.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Attitude day..sigh.....



This girl had an attitude today. Glared at Master becouse he yelled at her at lunch. Then refused to eat anything and pouted. Got two hard smacks with the whip for that. Then Master held her and kissed her tears away, but this girl still had a bit of an attitude. Watched my great niece all day and she was really a handfull today. Wanted outside all day long, and was way to hot to be outside all day. This girl is truly sorry to her Master she doesn't know why she's had an attitude. She's been tired, lazy, and cranky lately and there's no reason for it. My cat had two kittens still born today, so that didn't help mood any. Only two survived. Started to write a story, but never got it finished. Did redo Master's MDS page for him, and this girl thinks it looks pretty good. Took a long time to download all the songs for the player on his page. Even longer to try to get colors to work out right. Would like to get some writing done. Have been really lax about that too lately. Always chatting on MDS instead of working or writing. The house is a mess. Of course there's a lot more then this girl that makes that mess, and never clean. See here this girl goes bitching again and there's no reason for it. Just one of those days. Least hope thats all it is. Will try not to dissapoint Master tomorrow. Least hope won't. Don't want more stripes. Think maybe it's just becouse sometimes where so close and spent so much time togather, then other days life get in the way and where hardly ever in the same room...sigh. Have been going to bed exhausted every night this week and waking up not much rested. Hope Friday comes soon.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

april 24, 2007


Sorry no blog yesterday this one was banned from the computer for a day. She doesn't always answer or respond quickly when Master calls when she's distracted on here. Master said she could get back on later in the afternoon since he was playing a game all day, but the punishment was earned so this one stayed off all day. Didn't really play to much a little, but this girls nipples got really sore from heavy playing and some tit bondage and needed a break. Actually have been exceptionaly tired and lazy last few days. Think my iron must be pretty low. Have been taking my pills but still feel exhausted before two every afternoon. Have gone to bed early just doesn't seem to work. Am thank full Master has let me rest a bit from rough play. Hopefully will perk up and feel better tomorrow. Don't know why i'm so blah. Well have been watching my great niece and sometimes my sister brings her lab over and play ball with him for hours, so might explain the tiredness. Hopefully will have a more interesting blog later on for you.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Sunday funday


Well this girl and her Master have played so much that each session is now becoming hard to remember so have did the best I can, but probaly have several sessions mixed into one. We went to the mall and window shopped for a while. Had the camara and Master and our daughter played around with silly glasses and hats while this girl took pictures. Had some chinise food, and in general had a very good time. Our bond grows deeper with each passing day as it should be. Master bought this girl a choker and leash, can't wait to wear it for him. Here is play session but is said probaly not very accurate as we've played so much that it's hard to remember exact detials anymore. Plus our play is so intense its very hard to describe. Hope this girl does it justice. Will also post a pic with a poem that this girl wrote for Master this morning to thank him for giving her such incredible pleasure last night hope all enjoys...

Bedtime girl! Master bellowed from the bedroom.

Quickly she closed out down her computer finishes straightening up and headed to the room. When she came in Master was naked with a wicked grin on his face waiting for her. She smiled happily and quickly got undressed. Climbing in bed next to him she leaned over and starting licking and sucking his neck and ear. He pulled her on top of him so her thighs straddled him. He looked up at her full inviting breasts swaying as she rubbed his chest.

Raise your hands up girl, he commanded her.

Looking puzzled she hurriedly complied. Grabbing a length of bright yellow rope from beside the bed he quickly measured it and proceeded to wrap it around both her breasts tightly. Binding it behind her back and around her breasts till they both were huge round globes just begging to be licked and sucked. Reaching up he did so flicking his tongue on her nipple while she moaned above him.

You like that girl? He asked her.

Yes Master she moaned lustfully.

Suck me whore, he commanded her.

Quickly she turned around and leaned down to start sucking and licking his raising erection. Her warm lips pulled strongly on his penis, as he raked his nails down her back. She hissed and arched her back, but kept sucking. Watching her pert ass raise and fall with her sucking he stuck his thumb and index finger deep in her anus. She moaned and sucked faster as his finger moved in and out of her sending shock waves of pleasure through her. Grabbing the rope harness on her back he yanked her back toward him.

Ride me girl, he told her.

As she started to turn around he said no just like you are.

Yes Master she answered.

Moving forward a bit she lowered her wet waiting cunt on his hard thick erection. Lowering herself on him moaning as he filled her up with his length.

Faster girl he growled.

Grabbing his crop he spanked her ass as she sped up the motion of her hips and moved faster up and down. He grabbed her hips and thrust herself hard up and down on his thighs. Soon they were both bathed in sweat, as she panted above him.

Turn around, he told her.

Swiftly she complied still fucking him hard. He watched hungrily as her huge bound breasts bounced up and down with each thrust. Reaching up he pinched her nipple watching it turn a light purple from the pressure. Pulling her down and grabbing her hair he yanked her head back putting his mouth next to her ear.

Are you my little whore? He asked.

Yes Master, she responded.

Are you my little girl? He asked.

Yes Daddy she responded.

Are you my property? He asked.

Yes Master she responded.

Good girl he said spanking her ass.

She moaned happily, as her pussy grew wetter lubricating his shaft.

Finally he grabbed her hips and yanked her to a standstill as he emptied his seed deep inside her. She leaned over him and rubbed her bound chest on him happily purring like a cat. Grabbing her wrists he pulled her next to him on the bed, and yanked her wrists up to the bedpost. Grabbing the handcuffs he handcuffed her to the bedposts. Looking down at her hands stretched above her, huge breasts thrusting out of the rope, and wet shaving pussy dripping juices he grinned.

Your lovely my sweet little girl, he told her.

She blushed and said nothing. He reached down grabbing a huge pink dildo from there toy chest at the end of the bed. She obligingly spread her legs wide. Patting her ass appreciatively he forced the head deep in her pussy. Her eye’s glazed over as she made little whimpering sounds he loved. He pinched her nipples and fucked her pussy till the whole dildo but the end was rammed deep in her pussy. Reaching back for a butt plug he shoved it home in her ass while still fucking her with the dildo. She whimpered and thrashed beside him. He glared at her and she instantly subsided and went still. His eye’s showed his approval as he continued playing with her. Leaving the dildo deep inside of her he went through the toy chest once more and pulled out her fastest vibe. Turning it on high he started rubbing it on her clit. With her pussy and ass stuffed full, and her tits squeezed tight in the rope this last was all it took. With a loud cry she came hard almost lifting off the bed. Her juices flowed over the dildo and down into the butt plug. He continued playing for a few minutes as she giggled uncontrollably from the force of her orgasm and the incredible joy she was feeling. Finally he cleaned and put away the toys, and then untied her tits messaging them as the blood flowed back through them and they started to turn a pale white once more. She whimpered as he ministered to her. Lastly he found the key and undid the handcuffs letting her sit up. She leaned over his chest and the snuggled together as she thanked him for the play session and told him how much she loved and needed him. She slowly drifted off to sleep on his chest. Last thing she heard was I love you to my Angel. She smiled happily and feel into a deep exhausted sleep.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Afternoon Delights


Please spank me Master, the slave pleaded.

Master stopped typing and looked down at her kneeling by his side. He considered, and decided he had time. Closing the computer room door and locking it he told her to strip. She happily complied. Leaning her over his computer desk he backed his chair up, and moved her legs further apart. Putting on a leather glove he rubbed her ass with it for a few minutes. Without warning his hand smacked down on her ass cheek sending shock waves through her body. She moaned and leaned back into his hand. He rubbed some more, then swatted her again. For a good ten minutes he alternated rubbing and swatting till her ass cheeks were red and enflamed. Every stroke of his hand sent pleasure/ pain cascading through her body. Her huge breasts bounced with each hard stroke of his palm. He turned a movie on his computer of a gang bang by a pool. Laying his girl across his lap making sure she could see the action he grabbed a wire hanger and spanked her for a few minutes with that as she writhed and moaned under his skill full hand. He kept one large hand on her neck to hold her down as he stroked and rubbed and spanked her ass. Dropping the hanger and peeling off the glove he stuck his thumb deep in her waiting wet dripping pussy. Shoving it to the hilt he fucked her hard as she squealed in ecstasy. Telling her to get to her hands and knee’s he looked around seeking inspiration. Searching in a drawer he found a small screwdriver. Leaning over he stuck the handle in her wet pussy. She moaned loudly as her pussy squelched with each deep thrust. The handle went deeper then his finger and felt so damn good. He fucked her with the screw driver handle for a good fifteen minutes, and then had her get into the computer chair in the room. Grabbing her legs he threw them over his shoulders and pulled her ass up out of the chair. Leaning over he stuck his tongue deep in her cunt. Licking and sucking at her warm wetness. His hands kept busy pulling and pinching her nipples, as she clutched his hair helpless before his onslaught. Leaning back he started spanking her pussy. With each wet squelch is his hand came down she moaned a bit louder. Ordering her to hold herself open to him, he started teasing her clit mercilessly. Waves of pleasure cascaded through her body. Pulling her up he had her straddle his lap and start to kiss and suckle his neck.

He whispered to her, Are you my little girl?

Yes Master, she whimpered breathless with passion.

Call me daddy, he commanded her.

Yes Daddy, she cried out as his lips found her hard nipple.

What do you want now? He asked her.

Please Daddy fuck my ass. She requested.

Letting her get off his lap, he watches as she got to all fours in front of him her legs spread wide. Head down and ass up in the air begging for his attention. Rubbing her ass and sticking two fingers deep inside Master tested her readiness. She arched her back like a cat and almost purred with happiness. He started to fuck her hard and pulled her hair back at the same time. She moaned lustfully and thrust back against him. He leaned over her and started to spank her pussy at the same time. Each slap sending her rocking back hard against him. She didn’t think she could take anymore the pleasure was so great. Next time he pulled her hair back hard she started giggling uncontrollably instead of moaning. Her laughter sending more tremors through her body, till wetness started dripping down her legs from her orgasm. Master raked his nails down her back drawing furrows, as she shook under him from the force rocketing through her. She collapsed in exhaustion at his feet. Pulling her back into his lap he stroked her long red hair away from her face and told her what a good little girl she was. She smiled happily looking up at him.

Get dressed now my little whore we are done till tonight, he told her.

Yes Master, she said as she stood to do his bidding.

She’d just got her shirt over his head when his thumb and index finger found her pussy again and started fucking her wet slit once more. Grabbing her hair and pulling her head down Master kissed her hard.

I’ll never be done with you my little slut, he told her.

After a few minutes of listening to her moan at his ministrations he finally stopped and let her finish getting dressed. Getting to her knees before him she thanked him for giving her his time. Running his hands through her hair, he leaned down and kissed her gently this time.

Go girl before I get the paddle and the vibes. He told her.

Running out of the room, before Master could grab her once more she smiled happily as she returned to her chores. Waiting with anticipation for the sun down to go down, and she could feel her Master’s hands on her aching body once more.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Night of endless passion


This girl had been gone all day, as always checked messages on computer right after got home. (After greeting Master of course) She had a card waiting at naughty cards a kinky greeting card site. Master had left her a very sexy message with explicit instructions not to be wearing anything she didn’t want ripped off her body at bedtime. He wrote how much he missed her and exactly what he wanted to do to her tonight. This girl got very wet reading the card. At bedtime girl got into bed naked, as she liked her underclothes and most especially didn’t want them to be used as gags like Master had written. Master didn’t play games he jumped into bed, and immediately stuck three fingers deep in my warm wet pussy to see how ready his girl was. Feeling her juices lubricating his fingers nicely he smiled evilly. Grabbing her hair he pulled it back hard, as she hissed in pain. Taking her wrists he quickly tied her to the bedposts where soft restraints had been waiting. With her wrists secure she could do nothing but hold the bed post and whimper, as he covered her eyes. Without warning a huge dildo was shoved deep in her pussy at the same time two fingers delved in her anus. She squirmed and moaned. Reaching up he pinched her nipple hard.

Stay still girl! He growled at her.

Knowing that disobedience would be painful she immediately held still as she moaned wantonly. Lifting her hips off the bed as the sensations of his pounding in her sensitive area’s left her reeling. He uncovered her eyes as he came toward her with some rope. She looked up bewildered, but said nothing. Quickly he wrapped her tits tightly till they bulged like huge purple balloons. Reaching down he sucked hard on one till the pain/pleasure was unbelievable. She writhed beneath him pulling at the restraints futilely trying to get closer. Reaching up he slapped her hard making her head rock back.

Stay still already! He barked.

Sorry Master, she sobbed aching everywhere begging for release.

He moved lower once more and positioned himself between her wet thighs. She groaned as his tongue dived in deeply sucking and licking at her moistness. Rigidly she stayed still even as she wanted to writhe and scream his name, not wanting to incur his wrath again. Taking her clit between his teen he sucked and rolled it till she whimpered in need. Sticking his thumb deep in her pussy and a finger in her ass he started fucking her hard with his hand, even as he continued to suck and lick. Not able to stay still anymore she lifted her ass up and moaned loudly. Reaching up to her huge swollen tied tits he pinched and pulled them with his free hand causing pleasure to swell through her whole body. She screamed as her juices poured over his tongue and fingers pleasure cascading through her body. Exhausted she crashed back to the bed her stomach still clenching hard from her spasms.

Master leaned up and whispered in her ear, you like that little girl?

Yes Master, she breathlessly answered as her heartbeat slowly came down to normal.

He untied the ropes and let her wrists out of the soft cuffs. Holding her he stroked her back gently as she recovered from there session. Slowly she came back down to earth. Cuddling together they talked quietly. He told her that he wanted her to go to the next munch wearing very little. He told her he’d have her wearing a small bikini or a see through shirt. As he talked about it Master got very excited again.

Would you like that slut, he asked her?

Yes Master, she responded her breathing starting to speed up as well.

Grabbing her hand he placed it on his penis. She moaned as she rubbed him hard. He responded by pulling her hair back, and sucking on her neck. Breaking away she turned around so she could get to her knees and take him in her hot hungry mouth. Quickly his finger found its way into her ass forcing her forward hard. His hot slick shaft slid up and down in her mouth, as his finger plunged in and out of her sexy pert ass. Grabbing her ass cheek and squeezing hard he pulled her around to face him.

Fuck me, he told her gruffly.

Happily she turned around and climbed on him backwards. Grabbing his thick hard erection she slid it home in her damp waiting pussy. He continued talking about how exciting it would be to have her dressed in almost nothing and watching how all the people would admire his Angel and her body. He leaned over and grabbed his whip at the side of the bed, before she knew the sharp pain shot across her ass cheeks as he struck her making her hiss as she pushed her pussy deeper into his penis. Hearing her sharp hiss of pain excited him, and he struck her several more times making her thrust even more forcefully down on him. Dropping the whip he grabbed his crop and went to town on her ass cheeks and lower back. With every stroke she moaned loudly and ground against him hard. Finally he groaned and spilled his seed deep in her quivering pussy. Slowly she slid off him to lay next to him her head on his chest trying to get her breathing back to normal. He ran his hands over the welts on her back soothingly telling her what a good little girl she was. Rolling over he shoved her back on her back, and grabbing her biggest dildo and shoved it deep in her pussy as she moaned beneath him. He fucked her with the monster dildo for a good twenty minute’s while she moaned and begged for more. Withdrawing it he grabbed her fasted vibrator and started circling her clit slowly at first then faster and faster. Leaning over he bit her nipple hard just as the vibe touched her clit dead one. Screaming she came once more, so hard she almost shoved him off the bed. Slowly the climax subsided and she settled back down to the bed so exhausted she could hardly move anymore. Holding her close Master kissed her neck and face. Whispering in her ear what a good girl she was, and how much he loved her. They snuggled together kissing softly as they slowly drifted off to sleep wrapped in each others arms. One of his hands covered the collar on her neck possessively reminding her that she was his for now and all eternity. She smiled happily as this thought struck, and looked forward to the aches and pains this night’s pleasure would bring in the morning reminding her of her Master’s love of her.

Next morning after taking the teen to school returned home. Going in to bedroom Master yanked her on bed and took her hard and fast agian. Licking and sucking every inch of her skin till she groaned helplessy in his grasp. After bringing her to orgasm agian and agian he finaly released her and let her return to her own pleasures for a while. Least till nighttime when he had new pleasures and kinks to try out on her his slave. New rope and bondage tricks to try. Can't wait for the pictures...
submissivly,
Master Ed's dark angel

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Sea world whoopie....


Lets see me and Master played last night. Some reason this girl just couldn't cum. Didn't phase me though the play lasted forever and felt so damn good if it took all night would have been fine by me. Master even had me playing with myself to try to make me cum. Even with the vibe on high just no luck. Tongue action fingers in ass teeth on nipple..nothing seemed to work. Finaly Just exploded after more then an hour. Felt so damn good. Today went to sea world with my nephew, sister, her boyfriend, and my great niece. Didn't work out to well becouse my great niece was running fevers all day so wasn't feeling to well. All she wanted was for her gramma and grampa to hold her, and am sure they were getting tired of holding her hot little body. They kept trying to get her to go to Aunt Kim(me), but she was having none of that. She loved the animal show where cats and dogs ran around doing tricks. I knew she would, but the rest she could take or leave. She was impressed with the shark encounter. She thought it was neat seeing the sharks glide over her head. Me and Jake snuck off for about two hours to do the few rides they have. We did Kraken twice becouse he wanted to sit in the front row. Then we did journey to atlantis and got soaked going down the big hill. We didn't stay till the park closed, we were all exhausted and had sore feet. We left about six. On the way home everyone but the driver and me were asleep. I'd brough my daughters ipod and was jamming music full blast into my ear lobes and bopping to the beat all the way home. When got home found an email from Master. He'd sent me a naughty greeting card that has my blood boiling right now waiting for bedtime. Mmmmmmmmmmm....can't wait.
Submissivly yours,
Master Ed's dark angel

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

April 18, 2007

Well this girl did it agian. Had another leat night, becouse had to wait for niece to come get her baby agian. Hopefully won't have to watch her tonight. I love my great niece to death, but she's so hyper active she wears this girl out. Yesterday wasn't as bad is usually, becouse the child was running a high fever all day. Hate when they bring her to us sick and then lie and say she isn't. The childs skin was burning up, I know right away she was sick. Well when finaly got to bed after eleven Master immeidiatly started to play. This girl wasn't really in the mood, as she was tired and ready for bed. When this girl isn't in the mood it's just really hard to even pretend to be. While playing still feels good it's not the extrodinary feeling it is when girl is in the mood. Well this girl started begging Master do to as she wanted, instead of letting him do as he so desires. Play time was over like that and this girl had to write this girl will not tell Master what to do one hundredd times. Been so long since this girl has wrote anything freehand instead of using the computer forgot how much your wrist can hurt from writing. Wrote this poem that's shown below after. When went to take Master her writing assignment this morning Master stripped girl and fucked her good. His hands and teeth were everywhere and it felt so damn good. This gilr squirted so hard, she could feel it drippling down her ass crack. Master is the best, and this girl is lucky to be able to serve him. When Master got up he saw the cleaning this girl had done and was very pleased. Even daughter is being good so far today. She's taking tests in school and says she will probaly be done before everyone. She thinks it's easy which is a good thing. She has done everything she's asked lately without having to get on her case, though still not rinsing dishes she uses. Guess can't have everything. Hope veryone elses Hump day is as good is mine is turning out to be.
Submissivly yours,
Master Ed's dark angel

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Incredible Monday night sex


Well Master kept me with no underwear wet and horny all day long yesterday. Not easy with the baby and having to pick up our kid, and all the other million things we were doing as well. Was watching my great niece till after ten at night, so this girl figured it was late no play time. Not so before she knew it this girl was naked and handcuffed to bed post. Master felt how wet and ready she was, and proceeded to tease her for what felt like hours, but was probaly no more then an hour. He put clothespins on this girls nipples two each across each other. The pain was exquisite, and then he licked and sucked them at the same time. Never felt anything so wonderfull and yet so painfull at the same time. He used finger's, toys, and pervatables to make me hornier then ever. It got to the point where this girl just couldn't take anymore after Master closed her pussy lips with clothespins, and she begged to be allowed to go to sleep. Master was angry a bit that girl even asked, but he granted her requests. Don't know how to explain that while the play is wonderfull and exilerating that this girl can only take so much at a time, before she just goes out of her mind with all the pain and pleasure combined. She doesn't mean to push Master away, and it's his choice to continue play or not. When we first started this girl could hardly last fifteen minutes before begging for a break, so am lasting longer with each session. The gamut of emotions that go through this girl during play time are so many and so varied that sometimes it's just to much to take. She gets to the point where she just begs and pleads for an end even if she doesn't always really mean it. This girl wouldn't want to be a Domme as she knows how hard it would be to read a subs body to tell when they've really had enough, or are just begging for an end just to be begging. Being a Dom isn't just having a forcefull personility they have to really be able to read there sub and know them inside and out. To know when they've had enough or when even if there begging and pleading that they can take more. This girl is glad to be making this journey togather with her Master. Hopefully this girl won't dissapoint him to much on the way to learning.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Monday


Once agian Master refused to let girl wear underwear. Not that girl minds, but not wearing them to bad is strange didn't sleep well last night. He's really pushing his wishes right now. He's teaching this girl her place. Glad to be his. He's keeping me so wet and horny all the time. Can't wait till bedtime every night. Have had a pretty good day today being sexually teased by Master all day.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Apoligies to Master


Have thought long and hard one what was written yesterday, and this girl was very wrong. Master is her world and what he says go. To try to get what she wishes instead would make a lie of the title slave and Master. Yes she wants to learn and try more, but it will be what Master wishes and when he wishes only. This girl is thinking in terms of herself and that is the wrong attitude for her to have. Her Master is very good to her, and doesn't punish her half as much is she earns it. She should be gratefull to him for his forbearance. They play quiet often, more then some and she should be happy for the time they do get. In fact they played this morning for while, and it was wonderfull. This girl just needs to learn to articulate better, and approach Master properly when she really wishes to try something. He always listens to her, and takes what she says into account. He is not a mind reader and if she doesn't speak to him then he will never know what's up. This girl is truly sorry for what she wrote, if it created any misunderstanding at all.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Saturday-spanking day


Finaly got those whippings i've been being promised all week. Though Master did say he was mainly threatening whippings to keep me in line. Also got my pussy whipped good, which made me hot and wet. Would have loved to play a lot longer and harder, but had to take my daughter to mall. Had to admit was a little bummed this morning. Started thinking maybe Master is only in lifestyle to please me. That was really upsetting me. It's just not worth it if he's not in it for himself. There's so much still want to explore, learn, and try. He never talks about what he wants to try. We tried hot wax once and I screamed like a girl..well I am a girl. Would like to try agian, but haven't. Also bondage want to play a lot more with both bondage and shibari. It just seems once more play time and time for each other is being pushed aside just like it always is. Maybe my brattiness this week was trying to push the limits, and get a reaction out of him. Can't do self analys so don't know. My fave time is just sitting togather watching tv, especially the sex shows he saves just for me. We haven't even done that in a while. The weekend my parents were gone, and my daughter was as well was so great. Master kept me naked and waiting on him almost the whole weekend. He was always touching and tasting me. Now he's back to sending me to my computer, and telling me to leave him alone. Sigh.... Maybe if Master was under the tutoulage of an older more experianced Master we could learn and explore more. He's so Dominant though do not think that would fly. Ah well we are getting there. He's my Master for life and he's a great Master and husband and this girl is lucky to have him so have no real complaints. Just feeling whiney tonight. Do not even know why this girl would want more then what she already has. This girl is really a big baby and as Master says way to emotianal. Really thought Master liked shibari though and surprised he hasn't wanted to tie up my tits agian. Of course when he does this girl will probaly regret her whining, becouse then she'll be whining about something else. Well it's actually been a great saturday and we had a lot of fun at mall. Got some nice tight jeans at JC Penney's that were on sale. Hope Master likes them on this girls ass. Saw a movie, and walked around for a while. Talked to my friend Master Vigbrand for a while, before bed. He is a great guy and always like to talk to him for a while. Specially since his girl Mandi is out of town with her family right now and not home to serve him. Miss Mandi and our games of Dominoes, Literati, and pool. Am sure her Master misses her for there nightly games even more then I do..lol. Ok am out for the evening. Hope everyone else's day was as good is mine. Love you Master.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Seems to have been a long day for some reason, even though had a nap. The cats where fighting in the middle of the living room last night, and woke everyone up. The court thing took forever even though I was only up there for five minutes. Just a lot of peaple there. Don't know why i'm scared breathless at things like that, even if it's minor. Master owes my twenty two strokes of the whip, becouse he's been counting up my bad behavior all week. I'd rather get the strokes one at a time then all at once. Though Master is always gentle and never breaks skin on purpose. Can't complain though, becouse this girl was really bratty a few times and did earn each of those strokes. Have made so many friends at Dungeon myspace it's really nice. Love being able to talk to other's about the things that excite me. Bondage, shibari, and other things we haven't even tried yet. Hope we have some good play time this weekend, becouse it's been a while since we've had a long session. Huggsssssss and kisses to any and all that reads this girls blogs..the few there are.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Thursday

Well lets see this girl has been very bratty today. Earned several beatings and hair pullings. Have spent quiet a bit of the day on knee's kneeling at Masters feet. Have court tomorrow for a traffic ticket though shouldn't take long, this girl gets very nervous about things like this, and probaly won't sleep well. Maybe Master will beat me agian tonight till i'm exhausted and can sleep. Have a great thursday.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Hump day


Well Master bought me an erotic book yesterday. Was reading it last night while he was watching a movie in bed. Needless to say he had to pause his movie for a while. Reading about someone else's ass being reddened as she was being spanked, really got my juices flowing. Didn't play rough or for very long since we had both been sick for last few weeks, but it was nice to finaly play agian. Master keeps threatening me with more whippings. Not even sure why think he just likes to threaten though have got a few already. Wrote Master a poem going to post it here for him see if he's still reading..lol. My niece found another baby sitter so didn't even have to watch my baby niece tonight. Actually the day was pretty good. We did have to pick up my other niece from school so my sister could get some more sleep before she had to go into work tonight. Only thing is my daughter gets out an hour before her so we had some time to kill. We went to the library for a while, then just read in front of the school to the bell rang. My daughter has made the Florida young scholars award agian this year. Am very proud of her, but would never tell her in so many words. Don't want her having a swelled head..lol. Made Master bacon and fried potatoes for brunch is a surprise only to be the one surprised..he wasn't hungry this morning. Ah well I enjoyed it. Have to run my daughter is bugging me about showing me some stupid vid on u tube. Have a great Wednesday.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Tuesday April 10, 2007

Master was feeling better today, didn't really mean well for me. Lol. Had one strike of the whip last night, but he's saving some for another day. Not even sure how many I'm owed now for my mouthiness. Unfortunitly Master never forgets. He's worse then an elephant. Got slapped quiet a few times today, for the same thing. Some reason my mouth opens before my brain has time to say hey stupid that's going to get you slapped. Also got pinched and fondled quiet a bit today, so Master was really feeling better which i'm glad for. Had the baby for most of the evening while my great niece worked, so am worn out tonight. Just want to go cuddle next to Masters chest for a bit and get some sleep. Well while there might want to rub his nipples, and then maybe suck for a bit. Hmmmm, not conducive to good sleep though, becouse then he'll want to play and I know he's tired too tonight. It's just been one of those hectic as all get out months. Haven't had much time to play this month, least not real tie me down, and whip me all out hours long sessions kind of play. Hopefully will have time soon. By the time get the house cleaned up from watching my great niece today, she'll probaly be back tomorrow. I'm to old to deal with little one's....lol. Least not hyper active little one's that refuse to give up the ghost and sleep even though there so tired they can't even walk straight anymore. Had a little bit of romantic time with Master today, so it's been a pretty good day all and all. Got to ambarass our daughter at Sonny's becouse we were kissing in public. Ewww that's so nasty can't you guys get a room.....rofl. Obvously were demented becouse after your married and have been togather for years, your still not supposed to actually touch and kiss your spouse anymore. Specially not in public. What would she say if she saw what went on behind closed bedroom doors? She'd probaly really go ballistic...lol. Well I love my Master and don't care who know's it, or see's me snogging on him in public. Hope everyone else had a fantastic Tuesday as well. Till next time be seeing you.

Monday, April 9, 2007

Monday agian....


Master is in a bad mood today. Daughter didn't help it, she was supposed to go to her cousins house, but never called them to come pick her up. Finaly took her over there, but Master really didn't want to go out today. He wasn't feeling well. This girl has cramps so not feeling to good herself. House is destroyed just from having family over for Easter. Have baby niece here now till her mother gets off work at ten. I'll be beyond exhausted by then. My great niece Jayna is a bit spoiled, and wants to be outside all day, but it's raining right now so can't go out and play. My cat smells like something crawled up him and died. Don't know what he ate that disagreed with him, but the gas he is releasing is horrondous. My other niece Ashley is actually home doing homework which she's really home at all. She's uber spoiled at 18. On her second new car, becouse the first one that her grandparents bought her the alignment was so off from her always hitting stuff, they traded it in for a new one. She's always nasty when she's home. Everything has to revolve around her or she has a melt down. All I want to do is go lay down, but can't becouse watching baby. Hopefully tomorrow will be a much brighter day.



Sunday, April 8, 2007

Easter Sunday



Family sucks. Am so glad that we only have them all on holidays. After a few hours they drive you nuts. My Master tries to protect me, becouse he knows this girl never says no to family or friends. He told her they should escape for a few hours till everyone was gone, but no had to be stubborn like always. Have had my one year old great niece all day long, am now beyond exhausted. Last night was our monthly Munch. We had an auction, but it was mainly vanilla stuff. Master got us a whole box of china dishes for 6 dollars, and a leather vest for five. Then they had a voilet want demestration from Madam Tanesha. It was excellant. She also did some erotic knife play, and came out wearing a corsett with metal boobs. When she was doing electrical play she had electricity coming from the metal tips of the boobs into her demo person's back. It was spectacular. Didn't get home till midnight, and didn't get to sleep till almost two am. This morning was first person up, even before kids. Finished getting stuff ready for Easter and started cooking and all that fun stuff we do for other's. Didn't even do my husbands family yet, holding them off till tomorrow then will do something with them. Just don't have the energy to deal with mine and his both on the same day. Hope everyone has a wonderfull Easter as well.

Friday, April 6, 2007

Good Friday


Well still haven't really played, but getting there. Just been so busy with the holiday and all. My stomach was still pretty upset last night too, though feels a thousand times better today. My mom and sister are going to Universal Studios tomorrow and really wanted me to go, but Master said no. They just want me to go to watch the baby and ride rides with her. Not that I mind doing that, but Master really doesn't like me being used by others. He says I just give in way to easy and do for others all the time. Guess he's right, but if this girl doesn't mind doing so don't see what the problem is. Now my daughter is upset, becouse as an incentive to get me to go they offered her a ticket too, and what teen wouldn't want to go to a theme park for the day. Plus to see Chris Doughtry in concert. Well will have to make it up to her another day. Since my mother's going to be gone all day will be up to me to get the house ready for Easter anyway, and finish cleaning everything. Hope we play a bit tonight, but after not playing for a while sometimes takes a little incentive to get this girl going. Finished Easter shopping today so least have that all done. Still have to stuff Easter eggs to hide too sometime tomorrow. My daughter colored all the eggs, and they look really good. Will have to get pictures before too many more are ate. Happy good Friday to everyone. Hope you had a great one....

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Feeling good


Feeling much better today...yea. Well except becouse i'm feeling better keep getting slapped for smart ass mouth, but that's par for the course..lol. We played a little this afternoon, or more like Master groped a feel while the house was still empty. We have a school dinner tonight to go to, but no school tomorrow so am sure will play tonight, and maybe tomorrow morning too. Yippeee...oh yea Master gave me those two lashes of the whip i'd earned weeks ago. I'd forgotting about them, but he hadn't. Dang it. Then earned a harder one across the ass cheeks, becouse this girl smiled at the little licks she got. Master was being kind since girl was sick, but it just tickled..lol. Master had gorgous long hair becouse he hardly ever gets it cut, so he went and shaved it all off today. Sigh. Can't play with it at night anymore. Wahhhh...then he suggestes this girl get her hair cut off. Hair i'd spent the last several years growing for Master..gasp. Covers head protectivly. No way jose. Maybe Britney Spears and Senead O'Conner can get away with bald heads, don't think this red haired irish girl would look good like that. Well have to go finish cooking brownies and ham(not togather) for the school dinner. O' joy so have a great day one and all.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

another Blah day


Am feeling much better today..yea. Hopefully will feel good enough to play tonight. Miss touching Master so much. Thing is he's been in a lot of pain this week too, so not sure how it will work out. His stumps were shaking really bad this morning, and that causes hm a lot of muscle pain. He takes more pain meds when that happens and then it's just no good for playtime for us. Well one more day won't kill me. Least this girl hopes not. Still not breathing well myself, and not feeling to well myself so might be for the best. Did get some Easter shopping done for the teen, but felt like a worn out wet noodle by the time was done. Hope tomorrow might have something more interesting to write about, but for today this is it. adiĆ³s.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Sick not fun


Well my sister's family all had a 48 hour flu virus and they decided to share the fun. My daughter was puking her guts out all weekend. Now my stomach feels like someone is tap dancing inside it. Master yelled at this girl last night, and not sure why. Think he was just hoping for some playtime and this girl was dead to the world by eight pm. This morning he gave her a hug, so hopefully not mad anymore. Still feeling very sick though and basicaly just want to lay around and do nothing. Have other things that need to be done today unfortunitly. Plus my teen is driving me nuts today. Took her to school early today so she promptly got on school's computers and started emailing me on myspace, and bugging me on yahoo chat. Luckily past nine now, so she actually had to go do school stuff and leave me alone at least till after school. Hope everyone else is having a better week then me.

Monday, April 2, 2007

Monday April 2, 2007


Well Master and me played for a bit last night, and this girl was more then happy. Master wasn't as happy though and went to bed depressed. Wee Willy didn't want to play agian, and that didn't make Master happy. He told me wasn't my fault and he didn't mean for me to feel bad, but his moods do directly effect my moods. So this girl went to bed depressed upset even though they'd just had a long play session, and she'd been very fulfilled. This morning woke Master up kissing and sucking his body and we played for a bit. Then had long relaxing bath. Wanted to go back and play some more before Master got up, but of course life got in the way and never had time too. Hopefully some time today will have time for for a quick session before having to get daughter from school. Though my mother wants me to go shopping with her so probaly won't happen more's the pity. Ah well will take what time we can get, and make the most of it. I'm with my Master almost every second of the day and that's more then most get. If we don't get all the quility play time we'd like, what we do get is more precous to us. Thanks for tuning in to me today. Have a great week.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Sorry Master


My apoligies to my Master. We are working on the rules togather and this girl should not have asked other's opinion. She should have discussed it with Master first, and only posted the rules when they were worked out togather. This will (hopefully) not happen agian. Master could have punished me for this transgression, but has chosen not to for which this girl is happy about. This girl has the best Master ever, and she will learn eventually that she can talk to him and come to him anytime with anything. Thank you Master for your loving kindness and helping this girl learn and grow every day.

These are rules my Master sent to me today. This girl is confused and not to happy at this point. She didn't think they needed said rules and thought they were doing well togather. Some of these rules will be very hard to follow as there daily life doesn't allow all the freedom one would wish for. Also no where does these rules lists slaves rights, while it is true slaves have no rights ,but what there Master gives them. They should have the right to question even if the answer isn't always to there liking. They should have the right to there Master's love. They should have the right of there Master's protection at all times. Since truly there is no real slavery in this day and age at least not known about, there should be mutual benefit to someone willing to give there whole heart, life, and love to someone in such a manner. This girl actually likes sitting at her Master's feet, but sometimes health issues interfere and it's just more comftable for her to sit on the couch for a while, and the bit about asking permission to use the restroom. This girl loves her Master dearly, but that is going to far. She has not requested permission to use the urinal since first grade, and since quite often she waits to the last moment having to ask permission could cause ambarrasment for her. If Master truly wants an automaton instead of a human maybe he should buy a slave from some foriegn country. This girl has said she would obey her Master, and she will keep her word, but truly do not agree to these rules. Also usually do ask to get up from bed, but sometimes he is asleep and she doesn't wish to wake him. These rules make it sound like Master truly wishes to break this girls heart and spirit. This girl hopes that is not the case, becouse she thought that was what attracted him to her in the first place.


MASTER – SLAVE RULES

The slave number 377-107-590 herein after referred to as “slave”, submits, of her own free will, to Master Ed, hereinafter referred to as “MASTER”, and agrees to the following rulers and conditions.

  1. I am a slave and the owned property of my MASTER.
  2. I agree to be trained in any manner my MASTER wishes.
  3. I agree and will submit to any discipline or punishment my MASTER sees fit. This might include, but is not limited to: Punishment strokes, delivered in any manner my MASTER chooses; Prolonged bondage or gagging in any manner my MASTER chooses; Being forced to sleep on the floor, in chains or bondage as my MASTER sees fit; Confinement in a cage, cell or locked box; Deprivation of food or sleep; Assignment and completion of punishment tasks; Humiliation.
  4. I agree to put on, wear, or take off any article of clothing or instrument of bondage, at any time, at the command of my MASTER.
  5. I agree to be marked (using a temporary means of marking) or shaved in whatever manner and at whatever time my MASTER sees fit.
  6. I will not sit, lie on or use the furniture without the expressed permission of the MASTER.
  7. I will not go to the bathroom without permission from my MASTER.
  8. I will keep myself clean at all times.
  9. I will not get into or out of bed without my Master’s permission.
  10. I will not eat or drink without the permission of my MASTER.
  11. I shall never embarrass my MASTER in any way.
  12. My manner and tone will be that of a slave at all times and will reflect deference to my MASTER at all times.
  13. I will not act defensively when questioned by my MASTER.
  14. I will never interrupt my MASTER.
  15. I will lose weight or be developed by working out to suit my MASTER.
  16. I will always serve the MASTER in a kneeling position, eyes downward, and holding the position until released by my MASTER.
  17. I will tell the truth at all times.
  18. The slave may not seek any other master or lover or relate to others in any sexual or submissive way without the master's permission.
  19. I will concentrate on serving you and your needs before I consider my own.
  20. I will make myself available to you for any use you have at any time of the day or night.
  21. I will concentrate on your happiness at all times.
  22. I will consider that any pleasure I am given to enjoy is a privilege, not a right.
  23. I will remember at all times You are more important than any other activity I may be engaged in and that I shall change whatever activity I am involved in as you direct.
  24. At any time that you command, I shall sit, stand, walk, kneel, and lay where, when and how Master desires.

  1. The slave agrees that the Master is entitled to, but not limited to:
    1. Confine
    2. Gag
    3. Chain
    4. Whip
    5. Beat
    6. Torture
    7. Abuse
    8. Pierce
    9. Tattoo
  2. I am allowed to chat at the discretion of Master. I am aware that chat is a privilege or reward and can be revoked at anytime and kept from me as long as Master says. Chat is defined as any type of conversation in YAHOO, AOL, MSN, ICQ or any type of website chat such as MYDUNGEON SPACE, MYSPACE, CHERRYTAP, BDSM LIBRARY or any other websites that have a chat function.
  3. As chatting is a privilege there is certain rule's that must be followed or the privilege will be taken away for as long as Master see’s fit. The rules are as follows and MUST be followed to the letter.
    1. No camming (unless permission is granted prior).
    2. No pictures to be sent. A website with pictures that you may share with chat friends has been set up and will be updated with different and more explicit pictures as Master sees fit.
    3. Cybering is allowed and encouraged with either female or males. Dom’s are not allowed to dominate you without Master first checking them out.
    4. Archiving is to be turned on at all times and nothing is erased. If a chat is erased and Master finds out, chat will be discontinued and severe punishment will happen.
    5. No talking of meeting others outside of “cyberspace” is to be discussed or even said on the side of the slave. If chat partner tries to start this conversation slave is too have it stopped immediately and if it continues to tell Master and that person will be blocked and no further communication is allowed, i.e. email, chat, comments on websites, telephone calls, telegraphs, letters, etc.
    6. If chatting becomes a problem the following punishments will be given:

i. 1st offense: 1 day loss of chat

ii. 2nd offense: 2 days loss of chat and 1 whip

iii. 3rd offense: All passwords are changed to discretion of Master and all websites have to be logged on and approved by Master.

iv. 4th offense: A program such as net nanny will be installed on computer and websites only approved by me will be able to be gotten to.

Slave agrees to all the above. Rules and regulations will be changed at the discretion of Master only.


Sinfull Sunday

Master woke up with a raging hard on today. This is signifecant becouse of his disability it's not something that happens often. He called me in to deal with it. Had no problem with this, but just as we were getting good and into it our daughter starts banging on the door yelling about the phone. So get the phone and it's Master's sister telling him about wrestlemania on tonight. Big whoop we were kind of in the middle of something. We decide to continue were we left off some rough in your face, hands on kind of hard sex. Wouldn't you know we got distracted agian. Now Master is pissed and just tells me to forget it and go. Now the distractions aren't my fault, and I know he's upset and very dissapointed. Still his attitude makes me feel like a little girl caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Now he's depressed, i'm depressed none of which is good. I'm so happy Master is finaly getting the sex he wants, but this morning feel like the bottom is falling out of my world, as I left the room with Master looking pissed and depressed all at once. He's trying to train me to cum more often, and wants me to masterbate three times a day too. Yesterday he videotaped one of my sessions which made me even hotter. The problem is this girl when she cums cums very hard. It's almost painfull, and then it's very hard to do so agian till after a long rest. Why this is I know not. Wish it wasn't so. I feel like a failure to myself and him. Why can't I just look at him and be dying to have sex? Sometimes I am other times have to watch porn or read some to really get turned on. Also get tired and distracted easily. Some of that has to do with my low iron, and asthma. There are a lot of disabled peaple in the lifestyle that find ways to overcome there problems, but still it hurts that I can't serve as Master wants me to. The look he had in his eye's as I left the room agian this morning just killed me. If only he relized what his actions and expressions do to me. Plus I have two strokes of the whip hanging over me from yesterday. Would be easer if life didn't get in the way, becouse would much rather take the punishment right away then have it hanging over my head forever. Eventually if there not giving soon will probaly earn more it's like a never ending nightmare. This girl wants to please her Master, spend time with her parants, hang out with her kid, and still keep up with all her friends online. Something has to give there's just not enough hours in the day. Sorry for the mood today.