May 30, 2007

Yes was bad didn't write in here again last night. Have been real tired, and busy this week. Had the baby all day today, and she was wired. Refused to nap all day. Going to Sea World tomorrow night with some of my daughters school for a Polynesian dinner. Guess this is like the rest of my life when I'm feeling real submissive this is just something I really like to do, but when vanilla stuff gets in the way then this kind of gets pushes aside as well. I know it's only temporary, and that life will get back on track fairly quickly. Till then it's busy all day go to bed to sleep, just to start over. No time to even really service Master or spend time together as Master/slave which really gets me down. Hopefully soon.... Master Ed's dark angel

Huggsssssss and Happy Memorial day to all

To tired to blog tonight..didn't do much anyway. Took daughter out spent some time alone with her that was about it. Have a great holiday one and all.

pretty good day

Last night Master put me in place during play. He showed once again who's in charge, and truly this girl enjoyed every minute of it. He made this girl so hot and wet that she was begging for a break long before he was through with her. Went to flea market today to hang out for a bit. My niece wasn't to happy she wanted to hang around our house, make a music Cd, and go swimming but I wanted to take the girls out and spend some time with them so that's what we did. After our little crappy flea market we went down a bit further to eat at Krystal's. We have only one in this area and it's not real close to us. Master and our daughter love Krystal's so it's a treat for them. Then we went to walk around Kmart for a bit. It was good to get Karia away from her grandma for a bit, and talk to her. Was also upsetting, because found out all the lies her grandmother has told us lately. Of course that's par for the course with the old witch. We have to try to get custody since she still doesn't have it for either of them, but we keep running into brick walls. No one wants to help us without money in there hand. Well we are going to keep trying because all of her own kids left home by the time they were 14 or earlier for a reason, and those kids don't need to put up with her shit either. Wish us luck.

hmmmm......

Not to sure what to say about today. Was out with Masters mom and the kids. She was driving me nuts with her lies and carrying on. Really think we should fight custody for those kids she is destroying them with her nastiness. Master didn't enjoy the third Pirate movie, but he isn't a Johnny Depp fan and wasn't to fond of the first two so no surprise there. He thought it lasted way to long. Now this girl is in trouble for attitude because she truly wished he had sent his mom home, before we walked around mall. She drove me nuts. Kiki O/our niece wanted to spend night, and this one told her fine. Apparently Master had told our daughter no to having her cousin over. This one didn't know that so got in trouble. Well this one has told O/our niece to come over anytime she needs a break from her grandma, and she really needed that break. This one never breaks her promises and meant it when she told her to come spend night anytime. Tried explaining this to Master but just dug the hole deeper. Now Master has said this one has a huge attitude problem which needs correcting. After listening to his mother bitch about Kiki and her attitude understood why the girl needed to get away. Was very angry and probably did lash out a bit at Master for taking so long shopping leaving me to entertain his mother, because this girl was to nice to ignore the old bitch. Yes this one is still a bit angry. His mother had told us that the kids agreed with everything she got rid of out of there mother's stuff, now I've found out that's not true. Also she keeps telling the kids lies about us and other family members because she wants them totally dependent on her. She is mentally unstable and constantly calls all of us by the wrong name. I truly think we should contest her guardianship over those kids. So yes was angry all day which didn't make the day very enjoyable, though did get some quality time with KiKi away from her grandmother for a change. Her grandmother won't even let her call us like I've told her to if she has any problems. Don't really want her little brother sad to say, but half his problem is he's mainly been raised by his grandmother even when his mother was alive so he is socially way behind his peer group. He's not a bad kid but he is very hyper, annoying, and bratty and that's all his grandmother's doing. Kiki says she's hitting Joey a lot too, and that worries me though I know the old bat could hardly hit a fly with any strength with as much oxygen as she is on. Still being yelled at and made to do everything for his grandma isn't going to help the boy one bit. Luckily after got home went into MDS chat for a while. My friend Squirt immediately noticed this girl wasn't her usual self and probed a bit till she got this girl to talk. She always makes me feel better and am so grateful for her and her great Mistress. they are wonderful people. Off to bed and face the music now. Though maybe Master will already be asleep as he had a headache. Night all.

to Master

My Dearest Master, This girl cherishes every day togather though sometimes she doesn't show it. Even on all vanilla days when we get home so late we go to bed and crash. Though I'd prefer to snuggle and play a bit this one understands your in pain often and just not in mood. Though this one gets mad when you snap at her or tell her not to have attitude when she felt she was not, she understands you are trying to train her to be better then she is. This one is trying but she is often unsure of her own feelings, and is scared of things. This one often needs your arms around her, and your assurance of your love. This girl knows it in her heart, but her mind plays tricks on her and makes her feel unloved, unattractive, unwanted, and just plain alone at times. Please ignore my nastiness at times and help me to be the best girl for you and myself. This one tries hard, but feels she often fails. Thank you for your understanding, patience, willingness to correct bad behavior, perserverance, and your undying love. Submissivly yours,

dark angel

Busy yet boring day

Lets see wasn't allowed to go to my fave chat room in MDS because Master said was spending way to much time there. He is right as always. Have actually probably logged 6 to 7 hours a day in there. They are like family to me, and it was driving me crazy checking out the names in there seeing all my friends in there and not being able to go say hi and play. Didn't do anything else constructive actually with my free time though. Caught up on TV programs I'd had saved, but hadn't watched yet. Master got up late and had a long shower so didn't spend the free time with him. By time he got out of shower was time to go get the teen. We took her to go see Delta Farce at the movie because she had wanted to, and it was about to leave the theaters. Well she actually fell asleep at one part of the movie that's how good it was. lol. Then had an end of school dinner to attend. Stopped at publix and picked up chicken, because didn't want to cook anything for it. O/our daughter got the only honor roll certificate for the high scholars. She does really well in that school. It's a small private Christan school our friend Mary started to help her learning disabled grandchildren that were failing public school. If O/our daughter was in public school do not think that she would be doing nearly as well either. So we are grateful for the school even though the kids drive us nuts, as well as Mary. After we ate and Mary gave out the awards we scrammed for home. Now it's ten o'clock and most ready for bed. Master has already headed there I believe. Good night all, and wish me luck in getting Master to let me back in the chat room with my friends.....

today hmmm...what about today?

Well lets see what can this one say about today? Well started out lovely kid wouldn't wake up as usual. Least didn't forget Master's clothes though sure didn't want to get up and take a shower, and loose a moments of precious sleep. Finally did get up to take that shower though, when done found two cats staring at the shower curtain waiting for this one to emerge. Guess remembered Masters clothes forgot cats breakfast. Would be a miracle if this slave remembered everyone all on the same day. Between Master, teen, cats, parents, and various other family members this girl is dragged twenty ways till Sunday most of the time. Master is always first, but this girl gets dragged away sometimes and he doesn't like that. After finally got all up, and headed out door at last went to McDonald's for breakfast..O joy. Was actually enjoying my breakfast sandwich when Master started picking on teen telling her that she was going to bite into a huge piece of bone in her sausage. Well guess who did soon as he said that? After this girl spit and spit and threw the rest of her sandwich away Master kept saying she had bit into a chicken beak. So stomach was pretty queasy. Dropped kid at school, had to pry her out of car with a crow bar. Had to go get the mother in law. As you can tell day was just doomed all around. Went down to talk to lawyer about sis in laws wrong full death. He was nice till he found out sis in law weighed four hundred pounds and smoked like a chimney. Then dollar signs disappeared and he got pretty cold and distant. We left there with nothing accomplished and headed home. Went to Wally world before dropping of mom in law. They had the one and only season of Beauty and the beast on DVD but didn't' want to pay thirty five dollars for it so put it down. Went across the street and spent fifty in games instead..lol. finally dropped off loud mouth annoying, farting, belching mother in law and went to pick up kid from school. Of course she was busy talking and took forever to get her out door and into car. In mean time had to talk to principle. More fun piled on fun. Finely got home. One good thing was no baby to watch. My other sister took her out to dinner, and to play at her house. Realized no meat was put out to thaw for dinner so slowly cooked hamburger and made hamburger helper. The box had been in the cupboard forever and it looked pretty questionable to me, but had no complaints. Am so ready for bed and will be happy for no play time tonight. Of course if get some will be happy for that as well. (WEG)

Story time

Sadistic dreams

No one was home so Dark Angel took off her clothes and set them aside. Coming to the room she got down on her hands and knees and crawled to the side of bed. Master looked down on her bemused. Pulling her on the bed he kissed her passionately. You are now reading my mind girl; he told her playfully swatting her ass. Yes Master she replied grinning playfully. He grabbed her wrists and held them behind her back as he leaned down to suckle at her pert nipple. He bit down hard, and she squirmed and begged for no more. O’ yes lots more girl, he told her. Grabbing the solid black cuffs he quickly slipped them on her wrist and put it around the bedpost. Reaching for the soft restraints that were already attached to the head of the bed he pulled her ankles up and fastened them as well. He sat back and looked in satisfaction. His girl was securely fastened to bed with legs wide spread for easy access. He leaned forward and bit her neck reminding her of who was in charge. She groaned, but didn’t move a muscle. In reward he stuck his tongue deep in her wet pussy making her chest heave as she quivered beneath him. Covering her face with a small pillow he moved to the toy chest at the end of the bed. He knew she was dying to know what he was doing. He returned and shoved the huge pink dildo deep in her pussy making her whimper helplessly. He loved that sound. Grinning he shoved it in and out ruthlessly as her ass squirmed up and down. Little moans and whimpers escaped from under the pillow as he watched her breasts heave. Looking at those luscious melons he reached up and attached three wooden clothespins to her nipple. Her chest heaved harder yet nothing but small moans did she make. He licked and sucked her other nipple for a few moments as a reward. Reaching down once again he took her butt plug and shoved it home deep. She did scream out at this intrusion and arch high off the bed. He reached up and laid his hand on her chest and she quickly subsided apologizing. Leaving the butt plug deep in her ass, he took her vibrator and turned it on to high. Placing it right on her nub he started to rub back and forth. She moaned her whole body shaking. He could hear the clothespins rattling against each other as her whole body quivered under his onslaught. Reaching down he started to move the dildo in and out of her ass as he still plundered her wet juicy pussy with the vibrator. Far too soon for him she screamed for permission to cum. No, he said still rubbing and stroking. Please Master she sobbed her chest heaving. He let her beg and plead for five minutes before giving permission. Soon as he said cum girl she quivered hard and her juices flowed down her thighs and into the crack of her ass coating the butt plug. He continued stroking for a few more as she cried and pleaded for no more, as the force of her release was so great. Finally he stopped and stroked her gently before putting aside the toys and taking off the clothespins. He rubbed her pinched swollen nipple for a few moments before releasing her ankles. He let her stretch her feet out, and he admired her for a while, before finally releasing her hands from the cuffs as well. Telling her what a good girl she was he let her go back to her chores for now, but wouldn’t let her get back dressed. He watched her ass wiggle as she walked away while he dreamed of next time….

Apology to Master

Don't know what was wrong with this girl yesterday. This girl loves rough play, but guess it was to much all at once after weeks of no play. This girl couldn't take the play that her Master gave her, and is eternaly sorry for that. This girl should be on her knees thanking Master for his time and consideration rather then whining about to rough or not enough. My apoligies Master. Please forgive this girl for the things she wrote and said. Please forgive her unnecassary tears and carrying on. Please forgive this girl for forgetting to lay out your clothes once agian this morning. This girl is obvously not being a good slave lately, and should be thankfull for your guidence and teachings. This girl is your property, your slut, your whore, your little girl, your wife, and most especially your slave always. Humbly begging your forgiveness. ~dark angel~

confused and hurt

Master hasn't been happy with this girls blogs. Least this girl guesses that. He was very rough today. He says he wasn't that rough, and he could have been rougher with this girl. Suppose that is true, but this girl is feeling lost and confused without her steady anchor holding her up. First he stripped her of clothes since no one was home. This girl thought yea play time, yet got no play time just Kendo stick on her ass and back. He striped her good and much harder then usual. Had this girl begging for no more. He got her breast, and pussy as well. Think one of the slats grabbed the corner of my breast and pinched it horribly. Left a blood streak and hurt like hell. He finally quit and let her get dressed all but her bra. He did let her put bra back on before leaving to get daughter. Later that evening after dinner Master wanted to go to room. This girl wasn't to keen after earlier, but went as it was his will. First thing he did was have girl put on her choke collar and leash. He immediately started pulling it tight. Forced her to kiss him and suck his nipples. This girl tried to tell him she loved him, and Master replied this isn't about love. He Made girl rub, and kiss him, yet kept saying she wasn't rubbing or had stopped when she hadn't. He was not the least loving, and this girl was actually scared of him. He seems to at times thrive on this girls tears and pain. Luckily not often, but when it happens it's frightening and confusing to this one. Then he gets mad she's crying like she can help her tears. So confused about everything. Talked to a Domme online and just talking did help me feel better. When he gets this sadistic it makes it harder for this girl to want to have sex, because she's afraid he might get rough again. This girl doesn't mind a bit of roughness, but pure pain just for the sake of pain is a whole nether ball game. This girls ass and back feels inflamed and sore now. Well This girl will not say more, and maybe will quit blog all together if things she says in it is going to get her in trouble. Sighs and wonders away desultory.....



No one was home, so Master was in the mood to play. Come here girl. She hurried in from the other room Yes Master, she said as she arrived breathless. He just looked at her, not saying a word. Quickly she dropped to her knees in front of him and lowered her eyes. Reaching down he grabbed the back of her shirt and pulled it along with her bra off. Do you wear clothes if no one is here girl? He asked his voice deceptively mild. No Master, she replied quickly standing to remove her shorts before kneeling back in front of him. As always she didn’t have panties on, as Master liked constant access to his property. Good girl he told her, grabbing her hair and yanking her toward him. Turning her head he kissed her hard shoving his tongue deep in her mouth. Pushing her back he watched her fall on her ass in front of him. Get my Kendo stick girl, he commanded her. Yes Master, she said getting quickly to her feet. Returning to him reluctantly holding the Kendo stick by the handle, she asked, did I displease Master? No this is for my pleasure he told her. Nodding at her, she quickly assumed the position. On her knee’s her head on the ground with her ass up in the air. Master looked at her appreciatively. Without any warning he swung back and smacked her hard with the Kendo stick leaving a large red welt behind. She cried out and moved forward. Stay still he bellowed, grabbing her hair and pulling her back. Yes Master, she sobbed. For her insolence he proceeded to flog her with the Kendo stick from the top of her neck to just past her buttocks. After about fifteen hits she stayed still, and just sobbed quietly. Grabbing her he pulled her close and hugged her hard. She kissed his neck and thanked him. Petting her head he told her she was a good girl. Go to the room and wait for me. She quickly dried her face and left the room. When he came in the room she was waiting for him naked. Throwing her choke chain and leash at her, he told her to put them on. She quickly complied. Pulling the leash he dragged her over to the edge of the bed to once more plunder her lips with his own. Yanking off his shirt he tightened her leash till she was at his nipple sucking hard. Pushing her back he got into bed beside her. I love you Master, she told him reaching up to run her hand along his jaw. This has nothing to do with love slut he told her grabbing her hair roughly. He forced her to her knees and shoved her face toward his groin. As she sucked his growing erection, he forced her knees further apart and shoved his thumb deep in her wet juicy cunt. She shuddered and cried out as he invaded her tender skin brutally. He slapped her ass hard making her shudder. No noise bitch just suck, he told her in clipped tones. Yes Master she sobbed out sucking once more as if her life depended on it. He continued brutally assaulting her tender pussy reaching up to rub her ultra sensitive nub hard, as her jaws stretched over his rigid penis. He rubbed hard till she gasped and exploded her cum dripping down his fingers, grabbing the back of her head he shoved her back down on his penis and forced her deep throat him pounding so deep into her throat she thought she might gag. Soon he thrust her down hard on his penis and held her there her nose shoved in his sacs, as his hot cum burst deep in her mouth. She gulped quickly trying not to loose a drop of his hot cum as it filled her mouth and throat. When he finally released her she’d felt like she had almost been drowned in cum. It was dripping off her lips as she reached up to wipe it away. Pulling her across him he spanked her ass a few times for good measure, and sent her away to get dressed. As she handed him his clothes he had her kneel in front of him and gently ran his hands through her hair. Leaning forward he whispered in her ear, thank you girl for accepting my sadistic side. She smiled happily as she returned back to her chores….

sinfull sunday or not

Yea Master paid attention to me today. Always makes me feel so good even if it's not always good attention. Attention is attention I guess. Love Master and am sorry for crisis of faith or needyness or whatever it was called yesterday. Love being with him and would rather be with him if he wants me then here any time. Didn't really do anything today. Sunburn hurt badly. Did make a lovely dinner of roast and tators. That was gone in like ten minutes flat. Maybe peaple were hungry? Been playing in chat today which is always fun, but would rather play with Master. Hmmma actually have nothing else to say tonight..strange. Ah well have a great evening one and all.

sighs and sunburn

Well had to go to Katie's school car wash today. Stayed out in sun for a few helping to hold the car wash sign trying to get peaple in. Ended up burning my shoulders good. We were out there for hours and by the time it ended ah the ache...my problem is once agian service. Always obeying and not back talking is not coming easily. Specially when like this week it's been a long week, haven't had a lot of playtime. Master has stopped commenting on blogs though this one knows he reads he doesnt know what his responses are to the things she says. It seems harder when we don't spend time in a Master/slave relationship to think of it that way. We haven't even sat togather me at his feet and watched tv in several weeks. No cuffs, ropes, flogger, and very little rough play in a week either. When our relationship is more vanilla then kink it's hard to remember who and what I am. Then more likely to get in trouble for attitude then otherwise. At the end of the day even if we don't have sex want to be Dominated and made to feel my place. Even if it's just having my collar on for a while or kneeling in front of Master. Why this need can't explain. It's just the way this one feels. Like to have structure and rules in my life, even though hate them and fight them. Maybe someone who has been in lifestyle longer then me can explain our messed up pysches. Submissivly, Master Ed's dark angel

Friday yea!!!

Well it's Friday today, and was really looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. No such luck of course. My daughter has a car wash she's supposed to be at first thing in the morning. Have the worst headache today, and asperin isn't helping. My neice Ashley graduates tonight, so my mother is being a bitch. You might wonder how the two concide, but my mom always becomes bitchy at events. She made me run up to mall to meet Ash becouse she said she needed a new pair of shoes. Told her it would take forever, and my mother said no not at all. Of course took hours, and my head was throbbing the whole time. My niece is very spoiled so won't even consider shopping in certian stores. After we finaly left had other errands to run so barely picked up my daughter from school in time. Master and I want to go to see a movie tonight. We've been trying to go for several weeks, but with his sister and everything just haven't had the time. Supposed to go to my niece's graduation, but have absolutly no desire to go. She didn't invite Master, becouse of his chair and I have a problem with this. She just assumed they wouldn't accomadate him at the football field. He's not dead he's disabled, and has done more for her then most. If he's not invited I'm just not going. Least she will be gone to project graduation all night so should be quiet in the house. Master did give me three strikes of the whip last night after asked for them. Asked for them while was still dressed, hoping the shirt would lessen impact a little. He actually said he knew this girl was stressed yesterday and would have let is slide, but since she asked. Then he gave me one more after this one took off her shirt. Forgot his clothes agian this morning, but got them to him before he had gotten up still. Tomorrow's another day, and hopefully a better one...

Traffic court sucks

Well this day was fun..not. If Master doesn't stripe my back tonight I'll be very lucky. My attitude today should earn me more then the customary one or two this one usually gets. When this girl gets tired, upset, and stressed she tends to lash out on whoever is closest which is usually Master. Well first our daughter, then Master. Niether of which I want to yell at. We were late for traffic court and daughter was slow as dirt like always, so my blood started boiling pretty quickly this morning. Then Master had me go one way to the court house, and this girl wanted to go the other way she thought was quicker. Though when Master said quit now when this girl was running her mouth, she did bite tongue and not say another word. Even when we went through several school zones that slowed us even more. So maybe this girl is getting a bit better. We had to stop and get his mother which didn't improve this one's mood. She had some work to do at the court house to do with custody of her grandkids anyway, and thought she could help me. So had to listen to her mouth and bite my tongue even more. Master stayed in car, which this girl really didn't appreacate. She knows they will not let him in court room anyway, becouse his chair is considered in way but even if he sits out in the hall it makes this girl feel better. He wasn't feeling well though, and has a pressure sore that's been bothering him so choose to wait in car outside. The judge postponed court till after noon, becouse he had an eye appointment. O'joy get to go to lunch with the mother in law. (yes this girl is still sarcastic) See why she admits to earning those stripes tonight? Finaly court was over and dropped off the witch in law. We were actually a few minutes early to pick up our daughter, so Master wanted to go to the comic book shop right down the way from her school. This girl was very sarcastic about saying while it's great now he wants to get out of the car. She is very lucky he didn't slap the shit outta her. Instead he explained once agian why he stayed in car, and that he loved her and understood she was upset but she needed to stop lashing out at him when mad. He is right, and this girl is ashamed.(hangs head) Didn't help when got home my niece had dropped baby off early. My mother said she had been there since 11 am so my mother was exhausted but didn't know this till later. Mom said finaly it's about time the babysitter got here, and this girl exploded at her. Had a headache and was hot and tired by this time. Finaly went in computer room with Master and just sat in the air condantion for a while reading till calmed down. finaly came out and played with baby. Took her for walk, and spent time with her. Luckily mom wasn't to pissed at me so things smoothed over. My mother is like me and when she gets mad can simmer and hold a grudge for weeks. Made a good dinner, and feel asleep about seven pm was so tired. Now even though had a long late nap am almost ready for bed agian. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day, and Master will forgive me my attitude today. This girl has heard about other slaves earning 15 or more stripes for attitude that her Master barely gives her one or two for, so this girl knows she is very lucky and should be thankfull for having a Master as kind as hers. Still having trouble with the whole slave concept. It will probaly take years for it to become second nature if it ever does. Till then this one will bite her tongue and try to serve with a smile when all she wants to do is sit down and ignore everyone. She is Master Ed's dark angel and will keep reminding herself of that every moment she has. Especially when all she wants is to think of herself... Submissivly, Master Ed's dark angel

relaxing day

Well didn't really do that much today at all. Basicaly relaxed a bit which was nice actually. Last night Master said no play he was tired, but then gave girl permission to play with herself. He turned over and finished her off though as only he can. Spent a lot of time in MDS chat today with a few of my friends that was fun. Master spent a lot of time on phone with his annoying mother which wasn't so fun. After we got our daughter from school Master took a bath, and when this girl came to help him back into his chair he attacked her and they had some good fun for a while locked in room. Played with paint shop pro for a bit too. Have missed playing there so might try to get back to it. Last night was thinking of tattoo's as have been wanting one. Have always thought i'd get something with a wolf as this girl loves wolves. Some how though that is not what came to mind. What came to mind is cuffs with Master Ed's dark angel written inside the links. Would love that on my ass cheek. Hmmm wonder if that means everytime this girl gets spanked Master would be spanked as well...(grins) Master hasn't been to happy with girl agian today. Keeps saying she's back talking him when truly she doesn't mean to or just doesn't see it. Least he is good about pointing it out and not punishing for it. At least not yet. He is taking more and more control of this girl, and making sure she knows who is Master and who owns who. Am proud to be his girl, but it is hard to sometimes put all else aside for Master as this one should. Working on it though. Do play a bit much in chat with others just out of fun, but hope Master doesn't get mad or not like that. We have not discussed limits that way. Can not cyber without permission but he never said anything about playing in chat. Guess we will have to discuss it so this girl doesn't get in trouble. In chat she gives lots of cyber hugs and kisses, and sometimes will crawl up in a warm lap and snuggle. It is all in fun though, and goes nowhere. Have never asked if that's ok or not and guess am asking now. Submissivly, Master Ed's dark angel

fine timing and actions

Ok this girl truly tries to behave and listen to Master some how just doesn't work out. Today had the baby which he wasn't happy about to start with. He told this girl to tell niece we weren't baby sitting today, but she had noone else so don't know how I could of said no. Then the baby is a bit spoiled and if she wants up this girl picks her up. Master doesn't like spoiled babies so doesn't like her to all the time. This girl tries to behave, but some how Master is dissapointed in this one's actions a lot. This girl tries hard to please, but some how keeps falling short of Master's expectactions. This one knew it wouldn't be easy, but loves her Master and is trying her damndest to please him and make this work. It's been a hard week all around and if Master needs to take some of his frustration out on this one then am happy to be here for him. His mother is driving him nuts, and loosing his sister hit him hard. He wants perfection from his bitch this girl will try to give him that. Hope he isn't to angry at her tonight, becouse she tried not having attitude and wasn't purposly being slow in listening to Master. Hopefully he doesn't go ape shit on his mother, and becomes a stark raving lunatic. This girl can do no more then be here for him, and hope it's enough...

service with a smile

Well Master has played well and truly with this girl last night, and this morning. Always hate it when he asks this girl what she wants for truly this girl doesn't know. Everything he does is so amazing and wonderfull feeling. It's hard though to always obey when there might be other things I wish to do, or things I don't agree on. He is Master though, and his word is law. Least I know he'll always listen and take what this one says into consideration. Some wouldn't even do that. Last night he wanted to know what this girl wanted, and this one couldn't answer. This one is for Master's pleasure not her own, and it's about what he wants. He made girl lean agianst wall with arms out on her knee's with a dildo inside and stay that way for a while. That was hard as hell. Still says this one is owed some stripes for her attitude though..sigh. Been not feeling good at all today. Head feels like it's going to split open it hurts so much. Baby really had no supervision today, and becouse of that she spilled water twice and slipped on tile banging her head. Luckily she didn't get serously hurt no thanks to me. Hopefully her mother will find someone else to watch her tomorrow. To tired to truly write this evening even though napped for hours today before baby got here. Prob would have slept all day if didn't have to watch the urchin. Master sometimes takes my bottom lip in his teeth and pulls. Hurts like the dickens but does remind me who's in charge quickly. Our play is getting rougher, and yet this girl is happy she can take more then when they started out. Hope others had a better Monday then this one did.

Punishment

Well last night got my punishment. It was lovely. Master bit, licked, sucked, and fucked me till this girl didn't know if she was coming or going. Used cane, and whip both on me. Master had said he was tired, so this girl just figured whipping and bed. Was dragging her feet not wanting to go face the music. Instead Master grabbed, stripped, and used her any way he pleased. Even the biting wasn't so bad knowing he wanted me that way. Felt so damn good. Have finaly caught up on my laundry that piled up last few weeks. Am very happy to have done so. Hopefully nothing else major will happen to let it get so far behind agian. Katie had her friend Brian over all day, and Master went out with my nephew Jim so this girl didn't do much else for mother's day. Went to breakfast with my mother and sister while Master and our daughter were still sleeping. After Master left called his mother to come get her present which she loved. Master is mad at her so didn't want to give it to her, but this girl just can't be that way. Master gave me two graphic novels. One is a set of three this girl was admiring at bookstore the other day. Daughter gave me two shirts I'd asked for. So wasn't that bad of a day. Would have appreacated a personalized card or something, but since this one doesn't act like it's a big deal guess other's think it's not. It's late and have put off blog till last minute agian, so off to bed for this one. Licks and kisses, Master Ed's dark angel

Goodbye picnic

Finaly played last night after two weeks. Yea.....(jumps up and down for joy). Master used the Kendo stick it was amazing and painfull all at once. Master took me to the edge, over, and kept on going till this girl was sobbing from the emotions. It was good though becouse after the week we had really needed that release. Today had the picnic memorial service. Was supposed to start by two and we were running late. Went to pick up my daughters friend and he didn't answer door even though we beat on it so we left him. Found park but noone was there yet, turns out everyone was running late. Katie was being slow, and am afriad this girl lost temper with her several times. Didn't help when we got to park found out that bbq sauce had spilled all over my back seat becouse she wasn't watching the chicken. This girl does at times especially when stressed or on little sleep gets a real bad attitude, but never lasts for long. Master wasn't happy with this girls attitude though. It was all just mainly stress and lack of sleep, but he still will give her attitude adjustment with whip tonight..pouts. Plus his wheel on his front tire broke. I was fixing the axle that fell into it, and when he got in chair the front wheel just collasped so have been trying to push chair in a wheelie all day. After all that and everyone finaly showed up things got better. Katie got hold of her friend he was in shower at the time we were banging on his door so he didn't hear us. We sent granma and Katie to go pick him up, which gave us all a break from granma's mouth which we needed. The picnic did go well was a bit to hot, and boring but we were there for the kids. After we went to mall for a bit, and hung out then came home. Master took wheels off his other chair so least he can roll around now. Wasn't a bad day really till now..am in trouble for the attitude.

Sadness riegns here

Well sorry for the two days absence. Just haven't felt like writing. Master's sister passed away last night just after 10 pm. She went peacefully. Her organs are all on there way to new homes now. She will help lots of peaple to live. Her kidneys were going to a young mother with two young children that had been on dylisis for years. My sister in law's daugher is happy about this. Her spirit is still all round us. Though this one isn't crazy about spirits, she believes they can still be around. There has been a lot of unexplained sounds and some lights last night. Her mother is still trying to get custody of the kids. Not sure if want to fight or not, becouse if we do the state just might end up taking them. They both know we are here for anything they need, and they have lived with there granma for the last year anyway. Of course granma is crazy and mom protected them. It's so damn confusing. Luckily Master's sister Kim went home last night, before we killed her crazy ass. Kept shouting that we were killing her sister. She has always been a lunatic, but the kids didn't need that at this time. Tomorrow we are having a wake for her out at a park. Master found someone to pay for the cremation, so that's good. Least after that can ignore the rest of that side of the family agian like we are used too. Master and I are a family. We don't really acknowledge either of our parantage. We are going to talk to his sisters kids today, and get there take on everything. If there granma is already working on custody, and is moving into a three bedroom housing then maybe she should keep them. Not sure that's what they want or what Sarah would have wanted. It's such a tough decision though, becouse i've told Master since the day they were born I hope nothing happens to your sister becouse I really don't want to raise her kids. He's always agreed, so now what do we do? We are beyond exhausted wrestling with our own inner demons as well is dealing with everything. His dumb ass sisters aren't helping. One told the 16 year old she could become emancapated and get custody fo her little brother. This is a straight A highschool student, and we do not want her to ruin her life like that. Another got in her face and told her that she was killing her own mother and needed to put a stop to it. All this just reminded me why Master and I have never liked family. We do not have an extended family it's just me, him, and our daughter. The rest of these lunatics can rot in hell for all I care at this point. Sorry still really upset, tired, and frustrated. I want these kids, but have no place to live that could accomidate two more children, and we don't have the money. It's so damn hard. Plus Master and I are finaly at a place where we can concentrate on each other. Our daughter is old enough that she isn't a priority anymore, this one might be selfish but doesn't want to give this up. My sister in laws 12 year old son has medical problems is slightly autistic doesn't get along with other children, and is franky very hyper and annoying as hell. Am just not wanting to deal with all that. Master can't stand the boy, so that's not a good situation. He just stands sometimes and stares at you, and it's very creepy. Well will try not to get behind on my blogging agian. Of course with the anger i'm feeling toward all this, and his family it's probaly a good thing I haven't written in last few days. Huggssssssss and well wishes to all who have been with me this trying time lifting my spirits, and sending there love. Submissivly, Master Eds ~Dark Angel~

Heartbroken

Well where pretty positive there is major brain damage in my sister in law at this point, so we need to look at long term care for her. Not only that we need to deal with her kids as well, but her mother has gone off the deep end and thinks everyone is agianst her. Right now she has the kids which isn't good and we are trying to get them without causing them more damage, or it being to traumatic. I've been talking to the 16 year old right along, and she understands and knows what's going with her mother. The 12 year old is a diffrent story. He has problems, and i'm not sure how connected with reality he is. His mother and grandmother always babied him and protected him from the outside world. Now that his mother has gone nuts she's making sure the kids don't go anywhere with anyone but her. She's afaid well snatch them and run or something. Its going to get ugly, and it's not what there mother would have wished. She wanted me and Master to have them, and had told us this before. Unfortunitly she never put anything in writing. His other sister Fran is going through her computer to see if she has anything written there. She seems to think she might have at one point wrote something down just in case. Hopefully she finds something, becouse otherwise things are going to get real ugly as we fight to get custody of these kids and his sister. Where so mentaly and emotianly drained right now don't know if we are coming or going, and everything just keeps running through my head over and over and I can't stop it. I want to think of anything else, but just can't. I try going to chat room and get lost for a while, but it just doesn't work. I'd even wish Master would give me a good whipping, becouse maybe that would take the pain out of my heart for a while and put it elsewhere. I was a manic depressive in highschool, and managed to overcome that which wasn't easy. Now I'm feeling those same feelings agian. Lost, alone, scared, and wanting to cause pain and hurt to myself to keep those feelings at bay. Maybe if I get some sleep it will be better. I'm so exhausted I think even when i'm asleep all these problems are still assualting my brain keeping me from truly resting.

damn it all to hell and back agian

Well found out today my sister in law probaly has brain damage. They will do test tomorrow to tell us for sure, but it's not looking good. The family is falling apart. Master fought with his mother over her icu bed today. He finaly kicked his mother out of the room, and she threw a fit. She thinks everyone is agianst her and trying to steal Sarah's kids. It's a freaking mad house, and all I want to do is lay down and cry my eye's out. Am going to bed now to do so.

Day late and a dollar short

Well didn't write yesterday. Master's sister is in icu up at the hospital, and where not sure she's going to recover. We stayed out there for hours and almost didn't go to the nunch, but we needed the distraction and i'd already made a huge pot of chili to take for the potluck. The conversation topic was not that exciting, but it's always good to see everyone and find out what's going on. Last nights topic was abuse which is a great topic, but this girl has had classes on abuse in almost every job she's been in. Can pretty much give the speech myself. Know all the warning signs, so was pretty bored through the whole thing. Poor Master has to be the peacekeeper between his family though this crisis with his sister too. His mom is a very forgot full and one of those that panics and screams gloom and doom with every crisis. So she called and convinced us his sister was moments from death yesterday, and had us all in tears. The reality is she's very sick, but doing ok. They have her in a forced sleep while they clear out her lungs from what she asperated into them. Hopefully by monday they'll be able to wake her up. Then we will know more about her condition. She was out for five minutes the other day, and they managed to bring her back, but they don't have any clue about brain damage or not till she wakes up. She has a 16 year old daughter and a 12 year old son that this girl really doesn't want to raise, but if something happens will. So pray for us, and that his family will pull togather during this crisis and stop sniping at one another. Poor Master is going to have to deal with all the medical stuff, keep family members for killing each other, and try to keep all the children calm during this crisis. All I can do is be there for him, and hope my presence helps to calm and soothe him.

Friday yea....

Seems to have been a long day. Am not to happy becouse started my monthly so no play for a few days. Yes we can play, but this girl gets bad stomach cramps and prefers not to. After school went to mall to see spiderman 3. Stayed out to late. Went to walmart to get stuff to make chili tomorrow for the munch. Don't have much else to say tonight. Huggssssss and good night.

May 03. 2007

Had a very intense session for Master's birthday last night. This girl thought she'd seduce Master, but he showed her who was boss very quickly as always. He's in control and what he says goes always. Today was still a busy day for this girl. Everyone but my daughter was late for school including the teachers this morning for some reason. So we sat in front of school waiting for someone with keys to show up for quiet a while, then we gave up and went to burger king for breakfast. Then when this girl got home her mother was hungry and wanted to go out. So went out for lunch even though this girl was tired and really just wanted to lay down and take a nap. After lunch mother decided she wanted to go look through toys r us. Saw one of my best friends from high school in there. By the time we got home it was time to leave agian to get my daughter from school. Had to go in and talk to the principle. Nothing bad just keeping me up to date on my daughter's progress, and what other special programs might be avialable for mckay scholership students. After that had to go get Master's check cashed. This involves going to two diffrent places to cash each check. Then had to go pick up my niece kieria from her house. She wasn't home from school yet so had to wait. Took her to payless to get shoes for a highschool dance tomorrow. She had a dress but her mom isn't working so couldn't get a nice pair of shoes. Took her and my daughter to taco bell for dinner, then walked over to walmart and walked around there for a while. This girl whined till Master bought her a fish that had a heart tattooed on it. My daughter named the fish cupid. Finaly took the niece home and came home ourselves. Then had my hyper active baby great niece Jayna all over me for the next few hours till her mother got home from work to get her. So has been a very long day all around. Am glad it's over at last. Hopefully it's over. My sister chris and her dog Taz is still here. Some days they show up and just stays for almost the whole day with never a reason. My niece Ashley found a home for one of my half grown kittens. So Screech Jr. is gone. He had really grown on me. With two new one's latched on there momma's tit though we had to let him go. Tomorrow will be just as hectic a day. Katie decided she wanted to go to this highschool dance with her cousin. Since she's in a small private school there's not a lot of guys to choose from, so she wants to peruse the highschool crowd..lol. So well have to find her shoes and a dress quickly after school then rush her over to her cousins house so they can leave early to get a ticket for her. When did highschool dance tickets get so expensive? Twenty bucks for a dance ticket...geeze. I know Katie will have a great time though so it's all good. Submissivly yours, Master Ed's dark angel

Master's Birthday

Well it's been a pretty fucking fantastic day. Least in my opinion. Only bad part about it was still had baby, becouse my mother agreed to take her after I told my niece several days ago wasn't going to watch her today. My nephew took me and Master out to breakfast after we dropped our daughter off at school. Then we came home for about an hour checked movie times. My nephew took us to see the condemned. Was a very good movie. Dropped my nephew off at home and went to pick up daughter. Came home and had to watch the baby for about an hour while my mother ran out somewhere. Let her play in pool for a while, gave her bath, and an icecream so she was happy. After my parents came back they took us to a Mexican resteraunt to celebrate Master's Birthday. Since then have just been relaxing at home waiting for bed time so we can have some play time. Going to wear my new see through teddy for Master tonight. Hope the night as is good is the day, and hope this girl can stay awake for a long play session after the long day out today.

one more day till Master's Birthday

Tomorrow is Masters Birthday yea...to bad payday is the day after Master's Birthday. Sigh. Am feeling a little sad that can't afford to get Master anything. He doesn't really want anything but a blow job anyway and would give him that anytime. Have spammed him with lots of ecards. Hope he likes them. We played a bit before bed last night. Master said he was tired and wasn't going to, but then he turned over and attacked this girl. He blamed this girl, but he must of been more in the mood then he was letting on lol. Whatever it works for me. Had baby niece all day agian so am exhausted. Told my niece wasn't watching her kid tomorrow. It's Master's Birthday and plan on spending all day serving him like he should be served. Hope this girl can make his day special. Submissivly, Master Ed's dark angel