Friday, May 11, 2007

Sadness riegns here

Well sorry for the two days absence. Just haven't felt like writing. Master's sister passed away last night just after 10 pm. She went peacefully. Her organs are all on there way to new homes now. She will help lots of peaple to live. Her kidneys were going to a young mother with two young children that had been on dylisis for years. My sister in law's daugher is happy about this. Her spirit is still all round us. Though this one isn't crazy about spirits, she believes they can still be around. There has been a lot of unexplained sounds and some lights last night. Her mother is still trying to get custody of the kids. Not sure if want to fight or not, becouse if we do the state just might end up taking them. They both know we are here for anything they need, and they have lived with there granma for the last year anyway. Of course granma is crazy and mom protected them. It's so damn confusing. Luckily Master's sister Kim went home last night, before we killed her crazy ass. Kept shouting that we were killing her sister. She has always been a lunatic, but the kids didn't need that at this time. Tomorrow we are having a wake for her out at a park. Master found someone to pay for the cremation, so that's good. Least after that can ignore the rest of that side of the family agian like we are used too. Master and I are a family. We don't really acknowledge either of our parantage. We are going to talk to his sisters kids today, and get there take on everything. If there granma is already working on custody, and is moving into a three bedroom housing then maybe she should keep them. Not sure that's what they want or what Sarah would have wanted. It's such a tough decision though, becouse i've told Master since the day they were born I hope nothing happens to your sister becouse I really don't want to raise her kids. He's always agreed, so now what do we do? We are beyond exhausted wrestling with our own inner demons as well is dealing with everything. His dumb ass sisters aren't helping. One told the 16 year old she could become emancapated and get custody fo her little brother. This is a straight A highschool student, and we do not want her to ruin her life like that. Another got in her face and told her that she was killing her own mother and needed to put a stop to it. All this just reminded me why Master and I have never liked family. We do not have an extended family it's just me, him, and our daughter. The rest of these lunatics can rot in hell for all I care at this point. Sorry still really upset, tired, and frustrated. I want these kids, but have no place to live that could accomidate two more children, and we don't have the money. It's so damn hard. Plus Master and I are finaly at a place where we can concentrate on each other. Our daughter is old enough that she isn't a priority anymore, this one might be selfish but doesn't want to give this up. My sister in laws 12 year old son has medical problems is slightly autistic doesn't get along with other children, and is franky very hyper and annoying as hell. Am just not wanting to deal with all that. Master can't stand the boy, so that's not a good situation. He just stands sometimes and stares at you, and it's very creepy. Well will try not to get behind on my blogging agian. Of course with the anger i'm feeling toward all this, and his family it's probaly a good thing I haven't written in last few days. Huggssssssss and well wishes to all who have been with me this trying time lifting my spirits, and sending there love. Submissivly, Master Eds ~Dark Angel~

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