Sunday, February 24, 2008


1.a degree of density, firmness, viscosity, etc.: The liquid has the consistency of cream.
2.steadfast adherence to the same principles, course, form, etc.: There is consistency in his pattern of behavior.
3.agreement, harmony, or compatibility, esp. correspondence or uniformity among the parts of a complex thing: consistency of colors throughout the house.
4.the condition of cohering or holding together and retaining form; solidity or firmness.

In this case I'm talking about the second definition. Steadfast adherence to the same principle, course, and form. In training dogs, children, and subs there has to be consistency. If you say something mean it and stick with what you say. Set rules need to be laid down and followed. If you give a little leeway they will think hey next time I can push even further. What happens without this consistency is a break down in the Top/bottom hierarchy. The bottom starts to think its OK to top. They will start to push more and more just to see how far they can get. If you tell your bottom five more minutes and its bedtime, then when they come say alright you can have ten more minutes your sending mixed signals about who's in charge and what rules to follow. This will lead to bratty subs that keep pushing becouse they know they can get away with it. No I'm not saying you have be a cruel dictator who can never give a break. The point is they should know when you give in its something rare and a special treat they should be on there knees thanking you for. A submissive usually craves that control and feels lost without it. If your training a puppy, or a potty training child you stick with the same routine till its second nature to them. The same thing applies to training a sub. They should have set chores that must be done every day and set consequences to not doing so. This leads to happy well adjusted submissives that are a true treasure to behold. You can see the energy flowing between a good Dom and there submissive. The glow in the submissives face as she keeps her Dom's glass filled without a word ever being spoken. People will comment how well this couple gets along, and seems to know each others needs without a word ever passing between them. In summation just remember consistency, set rules, and immediate consequences for disobeying. This leads to a happy submissive and a well run household....

Saturday, February 23, 2008


Ed is proving how serous he is about this relationship this time. Last night he had his mentor Dragon come over to show him some proper play techniques. He brought his girl Angel over and we had dinner then he brought out his toys and showed them to us. He would demonstrate a technique on Angel then Ed would try on me. Some things he asked Dragon to show him on me as well. It was a very good evening, and a great learning experience. I am hoping it can be repeated again soon, becouse my sore area's are a pleasant reminder that I'm owned.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Going good here

Things have been going very well since I've been home. Waiting for a copy of my GED to come in mail so can sign up for classes. There has been a few disagreements between me and Ed but on the whole we are getting along very well together. I have not really heard from either Bear or Ursa since I left, but I talk to Krystal daily and I guess they have just been real busy like I have. I was actually hoping to spend more time with them once I came back home. Like when before I left I talked to them both daily for hours at a times sometimes, but after I got down there and was in same house we didn't spend a lot of time talking at all. I just assumed I'd see them online again more often, but guess not. Went to a friends house last night to watch the Matrix trilogy. We had a pretty good time there. Today went to see step up 2 which was also a very good movie. I really need to start swimming again since my diet isn't the healthiest. Eating hamburgers out quiet a lot. Even when cook at home it's usually fried foods or there's lots of leftovers. I have been a little lazy since I've been home and need to get busy. Just having trouble getting motivated. Need to start eating veggies again or start taking my iron, becouse my energy level seems down. OK back to the mad house..huggsss to all.

Monday, February 11, 2008


Yes I am back home again in Florida. I plan on going back to school, though haven't decided for what yet. Being in Georgia and unable to get a job even though I applied all over the place was really getting me down. If I had been able to get my CNA license transfered I could have got a job pretty quickly, but the nurse I used to work for has moved and I can't get a hold of her so that didn't work. I was not asked to relinquish my collar when I came back home, even though I did let them know I was going to give Ed a second chance. I'm sure they think I'm foolish, but we have been together for 18 years. That's a long time to give up on. If things work out between me and Ed they might ask for there collar back. I do not know what the future will bring. I'm still feeling a bit lost and confused here. I had a daily routine in Georgia and I have felt a bit lost without it here. I'm very confused about everything, and just letting Ed touch me again takes will power on my part. Some times I want to lean into him other times I want to just pull away. I have no clue why this is. He does get me though. He will scratch my head or back till I'm whimpering in ecstasy. When he calls me his good puppy and scratches me I'm just lost in that persona. I can just curl up and be puppy begging for love and attention. I do not think anyone who has not experienced this could understand what I mean. In Georgia there was so many times I wanted to just sit at my owners feet and be puppy, but I never felt it was appropriate or felt comfortable doing so. So many times I'd just sit and watch Mistress's feet wishing I could take off her shoes and lick and suck them, but I didn't feel it would be welcomed. There was just tension between us that I didn't know how to approach or end. I loved everyone in that house greatly, but still felt so lost and alone at times. There just wasn't enough open communication or play time. I admit I'm a bit of a nymph o and love sex. When I lost the right to sleep in Master's bed there I admit it hurt badly. I assumed I would be giving a chance to earn that right back, but that never happened. Basically a lot of the reasons I left home in the first place were being repeated there. We were just a bunch of roommates living under one roof. Everyone did there own thing, but we rarely did things together as a family. The Master/slave relationship as I know it just felt completly missing from the equation. I was very rarely giving tasks or commanded to do anything. Yes I knew what needed doing, and I did it. Still its just not the same is it? Me and Krystal were both hoping to be tied up together and used, but that never happened either. I know real life gets in the way, but sometimes you just have to make things happen. Truthfully none of this Matters I love them greatly, and always will. I'm just not sure I could go back and live in the same conditions again. My depression was just raging out of control there, and I didn't know how to stop the pain. Writing here has always been one of my biggest outlets and for some reason it wasn't appreciated and got me in trouble, so I stopped. Being able to write once again and get things out feels so good. It's almost cathartic to me. I hope to be a part of the Bearz family forever, but if they want to release me I'd gladly send them there collar back even though it would hurt greatly. In fact if Ed has done everything he says he is and continues doing so I might take his collar back, and I don't know if I could have two at once. The intricateness of it would be mind boggling to say the least. Everything happens for a reason we just have to open our eyes to see what's before and behind us. Nothing is lost so long as we learn from it. I've learned a lot about myself, and my needs and I plan on continuing to grow and learn. I think that's all any of us can do....