Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Living life best as can

Well actually not sure what to write that seems to be an issue a lot lately. I am glad to be back in service I do miss that aspect of the lifestyle. Its been good for me this week to remember why I love the lifestyle. I have really enjoyed the company as well. Its nice to just sit and have a conversation with someone that's not about movies, gaming, or kids. I am going to miss that when I go home. I am not used to driving so much, but it has been relaxing all the same. I have more privacy here even though its a smaller house then I do my large one. Just had to get into a routine to relax a little. I'll be glad to get home Sunday though. Sleep in my giant new bed..yea. One thing I have realized while being here is I do love the lifestyle and don't want to give it up. I have no clue where that revelation is going to lead me. I know I don't want to be owned again. Least I don't think so...sigh. I am a lost cause. I have no clue what I want or need anymore.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Moving on

Well Ed is finally gone. I had to let go to be able to move on. He's been out of the house for a few weeks now, and I am not so stressed and worn out anymore. I finished my bedroom and it looks great to me. I love my pink walls no matter how many adjectives it gets. It has been referred to as the Barbie room, Baby room, and Easter egg room now. I don't care its my room and I am so happy with it. I have never had a room done for me before. Its not all my own style my mother has put her two cents in all over the place. She insisted on curtains for the windows even though I have blinds. Now just figure out what I want to do with my life. Staying with a friend for a week right now so not at home. I am going to try to start writing again. I'd actually like to try to get something published just not sure if that will happen or not. I consider myself a writer even though I have never been published and only write in lusty library. Its what I love to do. I just am having a hard time getting started. I'm like the dog that's been beating down so many times I'm afraid to try again. I just lay belly up waiting for the kicks to come. Only time will tell what works or not...