sighs and sunburn

Well had to go to Katie's school car wash today. Stayed out in sun for a few helping to hold the car wash sign trying to get peaple in. Ended up burning my shoulders good. We were out there for hours and by the time it ended ah the ache...my problem is once agian service. Always obeying and not back talking is not coming easily. Specially when like this week it's been a long week, haven't had a lot of playtime. Master has stopped commenting on blogs though this one knows he reads he doesnt know what his responses are to the things she says. It seems harder when we don't spend time in a Master/slave relationship to think of it that way. We haven't even sat togather me at his feet and watched tv in several weeks. No cuffs, ropes, flogger, and very little rough play in a week either. When our relationship is more vanilla then kink it's hard to remember who and what I am. Then more likely to get in trouble for attitude then otherwise. At the end of the day even if we don't have sex want to be Dominated and made to feel my place. Even if it's just having my collar on for a while or kneeling in front of Master. Why this need can't explain. It's just the way this one feels. Like to have structure and rules in my life, even though hate them and fight them. Maybe someone who has been in lifestyle longer then me can explain our messed up pysches. Submissivly, Master Ed's dark angel