Master woke up with a raging hard on today. This is signifecant becouse of his disability it's not something that happens often. He called me in to deal with it. Had no problem with this, but just as we were getting good and into it our daughter starts banging on the door yelling about the phone. So get the phone and it's Master's sister telling him about wrestlemania on tonight. Big whoop we were kind of in the middle of something. We decide to continue were we left off some rough in your face, hands on kind of hard sex. Wouldn't you know we got distracted agian. Now Master is pissed and just tells me to forget it and go. Now the distractions aren't my fault, and I know he's upset and very dissapointed. Still his attitude makes me feel like a little girl caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Now he's depressed, i'm depressed none of which is good. I'm so happy Master is finaly getting the sex he wants, but this morning feel like the bottom is falling out of my world, as I left the room with Master looking pissed and depressed all at once. He's trying to train me to cum more often, and wants me to masterbate three times a day too. Yesterday he videotaped one of my sessions which made me even hotter. The problem is this girl when she cums cums very hard. It's almost painfull, and then it's very hard to do so agian till after a long rest. Why this is I know not. Wish it wasn't so. I feel like a failure to myself and him. Why can't I just look at him and be dying to have sex? Sometimes I am other times have to watch porn or read some to really get turned on. Also get tired and distracted easily. Some of that has to do with my low iron, and asthma. There are a lot of disabled peaple in the lifestyle that find ways to overcome there problems, but still it hurts that I can't serve as Master wants me to. The look he had in his eye's as I left the room agian this morning just killed me. If only he relized what his actions and expressions do to me. Plus I have two strokes of the whip hanging over me from yesterday. Would be easer if life didn't get in the way, becouse would much rather take the punishment right away then have it hanging over my head forever. Eventually if there not giving soon will probaly earn more it's like a never ending nightmare. This girl wants to please her Master, spend time with her parants, hang out with her kid, and still keep up with all her friends online. Something has to give there's just not enough hours in the day. Sorry for the mood today.