Thursday, June 7, 2007

June, 7, 2007

Was very upset last night, but am very glad waited to blog when much calmer. We finally played after weeks of not playing last night, and this girl felt very much Master was just playing with her to soothe her and not because he was truly into it.Almost like he was throwing his dog a bone. This girl didn't get satisfaction because of her feelings and cried herself to sleep without Master being aware. Now this girl should be grateful Master is willing to do that for her even if he's not in mood, but instead she was a whiny little bitch about it. Am very sorry for the attitude, and for making Master feel he has to cater to this girl. This one knows it's not about herself it's about Master, but can't help her actions at times. It's like her brain just doesn't function right, and it's all me, me,me when it should be about him and service. Maybe this one is a horrible slave and should be sent away to be properly trained. Am tired of getting in trouble because can't keep attitude in check where Master is concerned. When tired or stressed even less likely to listen and obey like I should. I'd really like to go visit my friend for a week and help her out while her ankle is sore, but know he won't let me so don't even feel like asking. I feel like I'm walking backwards instead of forwards lately and nothing is getting done that should be done. I'm so tired and exhausted tonight am glad it's almost bed time. All I want is to grow and learn in the lifestyle but sometimes don't feel me and Master are on the same page. I do wish we could have a mentor to help us grow and learn, but do not think Master would allow that either. OK am vanishing before get in more trouble for not clearly thinking about what this one is writing at this time. Have a happy Thursday.
Master Ed's dark angel

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

HUG! You sound a lot like me. We want to serve and submit, but we want to be taken care of and cherished. We want to feel precious to our Master/Sir. They are men. They react differently than we'd like them to at times. It will be ok. He loves you and will keep on loving you!