Friday, August 31, 2007
stress and no play make Kimmy a dull girl
Everything that could go wrong today did. Well today and yesterday actually. Had problems with my niece yesterday. She was caught in several lies, and having problems at school. Couldn't march with band tonight for game because of it. Hope we caught it quick enough for the whole problem to be solved. The today mom in law's car breaks went out. Seems was completely out of fluid and adding some worked. Hope that is all it is. Then this one's car started having problems as well. Air was going out. Master can not regulate body temp well so was severally over heated and short tempered. Had to run kids and mom in law around all day. Was a long tiring day. This one really felt stress and wanted some release wanted to play with self, but Master wouldn't allow. I understand he is in pain and doesn't always want to play but this one needs that play time. Really feeling less and less subservient the more that gets dumped in our laps. Husband isn't even trying to correct girl anymore which hurts. Have got in his face bad and haven't even got one stripe for it. Not that trying to make him discipline, but least some reaction rather then ignoring it. Right now just want to run away and never return. Am sure he's feeling same way though. I know a good bout of being tied up and spanked would make me feel better, but guess it doesn't do same for him. Am just so tired of doing for others and not even getting some play time and discipline for myself. Any other Dom would love the chance for a little stress relieve on the backs of there very willing subs I'd think. Trying real hard to just plow on and make things work, and make a place for these kids but it's damn hard and we have no help. Instead everyone has there hand out to us wanting things. All I want is some quiet time for play and a Master that disciplines when needed. Right now feeling so unsubmissive lately though might not accept discipline if giving. Might break whip in pieces and toss it in trash.