Feeling good

Feeling much better today...yea. Well except becouse i'm feeling better keep getting slapped for smart ass mouth, but that's par for the course..lol. We played a little this afternoon, or more like Master groped a feel while the house was still empty. We have a school dinner tonight to go to, but no school tomorrow so am sure will play tonight, and maybe tomorrow morning too. Yippeee...oh yea Master gave me those two lashes of the whip i'd earned weeks ago. I'd forgotting about them, but he hadn't. Dang it. Then earned a harder one across the ass cheeks, becouse this girl smiled at the little licks she got. Master was being kind since girl was sick, but it just tickled..lol. Master had gorgous long hair becouse he hardly ever gets it cut, so he went and shaved it all off today. Sigh. Can't play with it at night anymore. Wahhhh...then he suggestes this girl get her hair cut off. Hair i'd spent the last several years growing for Master..gasp. Covers head protectivly. No way jose. Maybe Britney Spears and Senead O'Conner can get away with bald heads, don't think this red haired irish girl would look good like that. Well have to go finish cooking brownies and ham(not togather) for the school dinner. O' joy so have a great day one and all.

another Blah day

Am feeling much better today..yea. Hopefully will feel good enough to play tonight. Miss touching Master so much. Thing is he's been in a lot of pain this week too, so not sure how it will work out. His stumps were shaking really bad this morning, and that causes hm a lot of muscle pain. He takes more pain meds when that happens and then it's just no good for playtime for us. Well one more day won't kill me. Least this girl hopes not. Still not breathing well myself, and not feeling to well myself so might be for the best. Did get some Easter shopping done for the teen, but felt like a worn out wet noodle by the time was done. Hope tomorrow might have something more interesting to write about, but for today this is it. adiós.

Sick not fun

Well my sister's family all had a 48 hour flu virus and they decided to share the fun. My daughter was puking her guts out all weekend. Now my stomach feels like someone is tap dancing inside it. Master yelled at this girl last night, and not sure why. Think he was just hoping for some playtime and this girl was dead to the world by eight pm. This morning he gave her a hug, so hopefully not mad anymore. Still feeling very sick though and basicaly just want to lay around and do nothing. Have other things that need to be done today unfortunitly. Plus my teen is driving me nuts today. Took her to school early today so she promptly got on school's computers and started emailing me on myspace, and bugging me on yahoo chat. Luckily past nine now, so she actually had to go do school stuff and leave me alone at least till after school. Hope everyone else is having a better week then me.

Monday April 2, 2007

Well Master and me played for a bit last night, and this girl was more then happy. Master wasn't as happy though and went to bed depressed. Wee Willy didn't want to play agian, and that didn't make Master happy. He told me wasn't my fault and he didn't mean for me to feel bad, but his moods do directly effect my moods. So this girl went to bed depressed upset even though they'd just had a long play session, and she'd been very fulfilled. This morning woke Master up kissing and sucking his body and we played for a bit. Then had long relaxing bath. Wanted to go back and play some more before Master got up, but of course life got in the way and never had time too. Hopefully some time today will have time for for a quick session before having to get daughter from school. Though my mother wants me to go shopping with her so probaly won't happen more's the pity. Ah well will take what time we can get, and make the most of it. I'm with my Master almost every second of the day and that's more then most get. If we don't get all the quility play time we'd like, what we do get is more precous to us. Thanks for tuning in to me today. Have a great week.

Sorry Master

My apoligies to my Master. We are working on the rules togather and this girl should not have asked other's opinion. She should have discussed it with Master first, and only posted the rules when they were worked out togather. This will (hopefully) not happen agian. Master could have punished me for this transgression, but has chosen not to for which this girl is happy about. This girl has the best Master ever, and she will learn eventually that she can talk to him and come to him anytime with anything. Thank you Master for your loving kindness and helping this girl learn and grow every day.

These are rules my Master sent to me today. This girl is confused and not to happy at this point. She didn't think they needed said rules and thought they were doing well togather. Some of these rules will be very hard to follow as there daily life doesn't allow all the freedom one would wish for. Also no where does these rules lists slaves rights, while it is true slaves have no rights ,but what there Master gives them. They should have the right to question even if the answer isn't always to there liking. They should have the right to there Master's love. They should have the right of there Master's protection at all times. Since truly there is no real slavery in this day and age at least not known about, there should be mutual benefit to someone willing to give there whole heart, life, and love to someone in such a manner. This girl actually likes sitting at her Master's feet, but sometimes health issues interfere and it's just more comftable for her to sit on the couch for a while, and the bit about asking permission to use the restroom. This girl loves her Master dearly, but that is going to far. She has not requested permission to use the urinal since first grade, and since quite often she waits to the last moment having to ask permission could cause ambarrasment for her. If Master truly wants an automaton instead of a human maybe he should buy a slave from some foriegn country. This girl has said she would obey her Master, and she will keep her word, but truly do not agree to these rules. Also usually do ask to get up from bed, but sometimes he is asleep and she doesn't wish to wake him. These rules make it sound like Master truly wishes to break this girls heart and spirit. This girl hopes that is not the case, becouse she thought that was what attracted him to her in the first place.

MASTER – SLAVE RULES

The slave number 377-107-590 herein after referred to as “slave”, submits, of her own free will, to Master Ed, hereinafter referred to as “MASTER”, and agrees to the following rulers and conditions.

1. I am a slave and the owned property of my MASTER.
2. I agree to be trained in any manner my MASTER wishes.
3. I agree and will submit to any discipline or punishment my MASTER sees fit. This might include, but is not limited to: Punishment strokes, delivered in any manner my MASTER chooses; Prolonged bondage or gagging in any manner my MASTER chooses; Being forced to sleep on the floor, in chains or bondage as my MASTER sees fit; Confinement in a cage, cell or locked box; Deprivation of food or sleep; Assignment and completion of punishment tasks; Humiliation.
4. I agree to put on, wear, or take off any article of clothing or instrument of bondage, at any time, at the command of my MASTER.
5. I agree to be marked (using a temporary means of marking) or shaved in whatever manner and at whatever time my MASTER sees fit.
6. I will not sit, lie on or use the furniture without the expressed permission of the MASTER.
7. I will not go to the bathroom without permission from my MASTER.
8. I will keep myself clean at all times.
9. I will not get into or out of bed without my Master’s permission.
10. I will not eat or drink without the permission of my MASTER.
11. I shall never embarrass my MASTER in any way.
12. My manner and tone will be that of a slave at all times and will reflect deference to my MASTER at all times.
13. I will not act defensively when questioned by my MASTER.
14. I will never interrupt my MASTER.
15. I will lose weight or be developed by working out to suit my MASTER.
16. I will always serve the MASTER in a kneeling position, eyes downward, and holding the position until released by my MASTER.
17. I will tell the truth at all times.
18. The slave may not seek any other master or lover or relate to others in any sexual or submissive way without the master's permission.
19. I will concentrate on serving you and your needs before I consider my own.
20. I will make myself available to you for any use you have at any time of the day or night.
21. I will concentrate on your happiness at all times.
22. I will consider that any pleasure I am given to enjoy is a privilege, not a right.
23. I will remember at all times You are more important than any other activity I may be engaged in and that I shall change whatever activity I am involved in as you direct.
24. At any time that you command, I shall sit, stand, walk, kneel, and lay where, when and how Master desires.

25. The slave agrees that the Master is entitled to, but not limited to:
1. Confine
2. Gag
3. Chain
4. Whip
5. Beat
6. Torture
7. Abuse
8. Pierce
9. Tattoo
26. I am allowed to chat at the discretion of Master. I am aware that chat is a privilege or reward and can be revoked at anytime and kept from me as long as Master says. Chat is defined as any type of conversation in YAHOO, AOL, MSN, ICQ or any type of website chat such as MYDUNGEON SPACE, MYSPACE, CHERRYTAP, BDSM LIBRARY or any other websites that have a chat function.
27. As chatting is a privilege there is certain rule's that must be followed or the privilege will be taken away for as long as Master see’s fit. The rules are as follows and MUST be followed to the letter.
1. No camming (unless permission is granted prior).
2. No pictures to be sent. A website with pictures that you may share with chat friends has been set up and will be updated with different and more explicit pictures as Master sees fit.
3. Cybering is allowed and encouraged with either female or males. Dom’s are not allowed to dominate you without Master first checking them out.
4. Archiving is to be turned on at all times and nothing is erased. If a chat is erased and Master finds out, chat will be discontinued and severe punishment will happen.
5. No talking of meeting others outside of “cyberspace” is to be discussed or even said on the side of the slave. If chat partner tries to start this conversation slave is too have it stopped immediately and if it continues to tell Master and that person will be blocked and no further communication is allowed, i.e. email, chat, comments on websites, telephone calls, telegraphs, letters, etc.
6. If chatting becomes a problem the following punishments will be given:

i. 1^st offense: 1 day loss of chat

ii. 2^nd offense: 2 days loss of chat and 1 whip

iii. 3^rd offense: All passwords are changed to discretion of Master and all websites have to be logged on and approved by Master.

iv. 4^th offense: A program such as net nanny will be installed on computer and websites only approved by me will be able to be gotten to.

Slave agrees to all the above. Rules and regulations will be changed at the discretion of Master only.

Sinfull Sunday

Master woke up with a raging hard on today. This is signifecant becouse of his disability it's not something that happens often. He called me in to deal with it. Had no problem with this, but just as we were getting good and into it our daughter starts banging on the door yelling about the phone. So get the phone and it's Master's sister telling him about wrestlemania on tonight. Big whoop we were kind of in the middle of something. We decide to continue were we left off some rough in your face, hands on kind of hard sex. Wouldn't you know we got distracted agian. Now Master is pissed and just tells me to forget it and go. Now the distractions aren't my fault, and I know he's upset and very dissapointed. Still his attitude makes me feel like a little girl caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Now he's depressed, i'm depressed none of which is good. I'm so happy Master is finaly getting the sex he wants, but this morning feel like the bottom is falling out of my world, as I left the room with Master looking pissed and depressed all at once. He's trying to train me to cum more often, and wants me to masterbate three times a day too. Yesterday he videotaped one of my sessions which made me even hotter. The problem is this girl when she cums cums very hard. It's almost painfull, and then it's very hard to do so agian till after a long rest. Why this is I know not. Wish it wasn't so. I feel like a failure to myself and him. Why can't I just look at him and be dying to have sex? Sometimes I am other times have to watch porn or read some to really get turned on. Also get tired and distracted easily. Some of that has to do with my low iron, and asthma. There are a lot of disabled peaple in the lifestyle that find ways to overcome there problems, but still it hurts that I can't serve as Master wants me to. The look he had in his eye's as I left the room agian this morning just killed me. If only he relized what his actions and expressions do to me. Plus I have two strokes of the whip hanging over me from yesterday. Would be easer if life didn't get in the way, becouse would much rather take the punishment right away then have it hanging over my head forever. Eventually if there not giving soon will probaly earn more it's like a never ending nightmare. This girl wants to please her Master, spend time with her parants, hang out with her kid, and still keep up with all her friends online. Something has to give there's just not enough hours in the day. Sorry for the mood today.