Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Well hard to go over the last day. Master has been insatiable. We played three times last night alone. Several times earler in the day. The rougher it was the more Master liked it. He tried bondage, Shabari, and aphyxation and he loved it all. Truthfully this girl didn't mind it much herself though not to fond of face slapping. One time this girl climbed on him and lowered herself backwards on his manhood. She rode him this way for some time while he spanked her ass. Master made this girl take her biggest dildo in her ass for a quick few. Hopefully soon she will stretch so won't hurt so bad. She wants to please her Master and be able to take whatever he wishes her too. We played till amost one am last night was back up playing at 3 am and agian at 8 am so am very tired today. Master tied up girls tits and slapped and sucked them. We cuddled and talked for a while as well , which was very nice. Of course girl got whip for mouthiness as always. Master does not like it when this girl puts herself down, which she sometimes does without thinking. Master told girl how proud he was of her, and her ability to take whatever he tries. This girl is honoured and proud to belong to him, and hope she can keep growing and learning to please him. Yesterday this girl also talked to a Domme that is interested in her online. She turned on cam for a few and Domme complimented her which made this girl very proud. This girl hopes she can talk to this Mistress agian soon. This girl is glad her Master trusts her enough to share her with others, and she wishes to show what a good Master her Master is with her actions and attitude. Talking online with the Mistress she asked this girl lots of personal questions and made this girl think hard about why she is what she is. This girl has always been super submissive even before she knew what it meant to be submissive. Growing up the youngest of four she always cleaned up after her siblings, and cooked and cleaned around the house. This was not something she was made to do she just felt like doing so, and it made her feel good when she was complemented for it even if that wasn't often. As to the BDSM aspect this girl found her first porn book in her sisters room when she was ten. The book opened a new door for her. That is when this girl learned the pleasures of masterbation and self touching. Growing up a military brat her family never stayed in one place more then three years at most, so she wasn't good at making or keeping friends. They didn't have the internet and im's then which probaly make it so much easer for kids today that move a lot to stay in touch. When this girl got her first boyfriend it was so very normal relationship, but after him she found an older guy that bossed her around. When they were out to togather he would talk to other girls even when this girl was with him. He sometimes pulled off the road and made this girl get on her knee's and give him blowjobs. At the time this girl didn't like that at all, nor did she like being forced or the humilation he dished out. Least she thought she didn't, yet she kept going back to him. When she found her Master that she is with now they weren't togather long when this girl got pregnant. When the baby came she was very sick and they spent a long 6 years in and out of hospitals with there daughter. Soon they were living two seperate lifes and since both worked diffrent times. As happens in cases like this there sexual relations where put to the side. Soon they might play once a month if lucky. It got to where girl felt they were not spending any personal time togather at all. She felt lonely, and frustrated. She felt like he didn't know this girl her thoughts, feelings, or dreams at all. She felt like he was taking advantage of her and just thought she would always be around for him to use when he wants only. This girl admits if any guy had complemented her she probaly would have jumped in his bed at this time. After there daughter went into remission they moved back closer to family. Still there was something this girl just felt was missing in there relationship. She wanted sex all the time and it seemed he never wanted it. She felt like he didn't even see her as an object of desire and that hurt. This girl admits she made mistakes and started looking on the net for the companionship she was missing. She cammed with others online, and hurt her Master very much yet still they didn't communicate or try to get to bottom of problem so it got worse. Soon in her meanderings online she wondered into a BDSM chat room, and this girl was hooked. She wanted to be online Dommed and went searching for someone.She found other subs online and they teased and tittilated each other with there naked pictures. That's when this girl discovered she really liked girls and wouldn't mind sleeping with one at all. When her Master finaly relized he was close to loosing this girl they finaly had a heart to heart. He said if Domination was what this girl wanted he would be the only one that would Dominate her. Truly this girl didn't think it would work with the gulf that had been build up between them over the years. She didn't feel she could trust him not to hurt her or push her away agian like he had before, but she didn't want to loose him so said she would try it. At first he was more gentle and always afraid of hurting this girl. He would ask her what she wanted, which this girl was never able to articulate. She wanted him to Dom her and make him do as he wanted. It was not easy but when he went out and got this girl her dog tags with her slave number on it this girl started to open up more. She started to send her Master information on the lifestyle and he started learning more. Now everything as is it should be. He is in charge and there both secure enough in there love for each other, that he is not threatened when this girl looks at someone else or wants to play. Noone could take this girls Master's place in her heart no matter who she plays with. He is in charge always. He has now admitted he always wanted to force this girl to do his bidding, and to be his sex slave as well. He has a firm hold on this girls heart as well as her leash, and this girl will never stray from her Master 's side without his permission. To any in the lifestyle she talked to before, and may have inadvertanly obeyed online she is sorry if she hurt them or made promises which she never intended to keep. She truly is happiest here by her Master, and never wished to leave she just wanted him to see her for what and who she was which he now has.She is his pet, his love, his heart, his whore, his slave for now and all eternity and is proud to let all know it.