Thursday, March 29, 2007

Still simmering

Well have had a day to think before writing this one. Got in huge trouble agian yesterday. This time for chatting on yahoo. Master says this girl knew she was going wrong, and they had discussed this. She wasn't cybering though, but she did share pictures of herself which Master doesn't approve of. He confronted her with the print out of her chat, like she'd delibertly done wrong. This girl isn't stupid if she'd truly thought she'd done wrong whe would not have left archiving on her yahoo for her Master to read her chat. She turned on archiving when she accepted him as her Master, and let him know it was on. Why would this girl do that if she thought she was doing wrong? Now she is not allowed to talk to any Doms or Dommes yet she wasn't talking to one anyway. The person she was actually talking to was a friend she'd known online for over a year. Before she took her Master's collar when this girl was still being ignored this guy she was talking with had been her cyber partner. She hadn't talked to him in months becouse she never gets up early anymore, just this one day she'd had trouble sleeping becouse of some worries and had got up extremaly early and just happened to catch her on. Yes she shared pics of her Master's handiwork, becouse she is proud of her Master and likes to show off. She knew she would probaly not see or talk to this guy agian after this one chat, since she does not get up anymore early when he is on, and she wanted to share pics for the last time. Master doesn't believe this girl when she told him she wasn't camming with this guy, and he was really angry. His anger and refusel to believe her hurt a hell of a lot worse then the whipping she got for her actions. This girl likes to flirt and tease online, she has never done so offline. Now Master doesn't believe this girl about other encounters either. The reason girl never came clean about these past encounters is becouse they didn't mean a thing to her, and the only reason they happened at all was becouse she was being pushed away. The one that got her into this lifestyle she talked to him mainly online she actually met him twice in public places and gave him a blow job once in his car that was it. No she never told her Master becouse she didn't want to hurt him. Even when she left for a week to go meet a couple in another city she did not have sex. She gave him a bj once, and that was it. She spent the whole week she was away helping them clean and organize. The only person she cheated on her husband with since they'd been married was John and he knew about that. Yes it was a mistake and she never wanted to truly leave, which is why John didn't last long. He wanted this girl to move in with him and she refused still hoping her husband would relize they had problems wake up and work with her on solving them. He doesn't want this girl to share her pics, yet he doesn't share them either. Maybe he is ashamed of this girl that he doesn't want others to see the prove of his love and dovetion to her? He never writes comments on this girls blogs so she doesn't know what he thinks of the things she says. Same thing when she sends him personilized poems she has written for him so she doesn't know what he thinks. She will miss all her friends online immensanly as they kept her sane, and provided her with hours of entertainment, but if Master is that insecure he feels he can't trust this girl guess she can not talk to them anymore. After her punishment this girl serously thought about harming herself. If Master can't accept her for who she is, what is left for her? Yes was momentary weakness, but she was very upset and angry. This girl understands his reasoning, but she truly loves to talk to others and make others feel good. If someone actually enjoys this girls company she is honoured and always glad to talk with them. Well guess none of what this girl says matters. Master's word is law so guess she will find other ways to occupy the time she once spent talking with her friends. She was punished so it's over and done with. This girl has to accept that and let it go even if it is hard to do....she never meant to hurt Master's feelings and that is all she is truly sorry for.


edhendricks said...

Awesome blog my pet...I understand your issues and we will work on them.

edhendricks said...

Very nice read my pet...We will discuss our issues and will solve em my dear.