Wednesday, November 7, 2007

scared and lonely

We chose how we spend our time, and myself I believe we should spend more time with the one's we love rather then doing other things. I sometimes feel so lonely even in a houseful of people. Everyone is always in different rooms. Even bedtime is the same. We all go at different times, and once we are there there is very seldom any cuddling or talking. The wounding each other is the worse. Slinging words like weapons of mass destruction aimed to cause the most harm and hurt. I'm just so tired of it all. All I ever wanted was a house, a little money in the bank for emergency's, and to feel loved always. I wish I could say I even had two out of those three things, but I can't. Accusations being flung like cannons have ripped me apart, and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be whole again. All I want is to do what I feel is best and right for me for a change, yet do I really matter? Some think not. Are they right? I can not answer all I know is I have to try for my own sake. I have to go for happiness for once. If it doesn't work out I know that I'll never have the courage to spread my wings and try again...

1 comment:

subleigh said...

well I happen to think you matter very much and its time you do something for yourself
I love you sis