Monday, April 6, 2009


I went out to Pet day at the Woodshed this weekend and had an amazing time. I met someone I think might become very special. This worries me because I have someone I care about greatly, and I don't want to hurt her. Plus I had convinced myself I don't like guys anymore, and to find out I still do is strange. Makes me wonder about the things I thought I knew about myself. I played long and hard with more then one. I am suffering from sub drop a lot today because of it, but I know why I am so down and depressed at least and that helps greatly. I couple of candy bars helped as well. I got bruises on my bruises and I love it. Little stiff and sore, but nothing major. My mother asked me what kind of club I went I just told her she did not really want to know. I am sure she pretty much already does. The play would be better with a real partner rather then just friends, because of the sexual tension that such play causes, but its still better then no play at all. I've got some wonderful friends and I'm really lucky. Katie called said she was spending another day at her dad's. Am sure he bribed her some way. I don't care accept if she had told me this earlier I could have stayed with my friends another day and not suffered sub drop alone. A good cuddle would have gone a long way to keeping the blahs at bay. I can't wait for next month so I can do it all again. I still have a long way to go to find myself and support myself, but I am trying. Hell maybe a lifetime wouldn't be long enough for that. Who knows...all I know is I'm taking one day at a time and not letting my own fears get in my way anymore!

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