Monday

Once agian Master refused to let girl wear underwear. Not that girl minds, but not wearing them to bad is strange didn't sleep well last night. He's really pushing his wishes right now. He's teaching this girl her place. Glad to be his. He's keeping me so wet and horny all the time. Can't wait till bedtime every night. Have had a pretty good day today being sexually teased by Master all day.

Lucky

This girl has the best Master in the world. He cleaned the whole kitchen for her yesterday, while she watched a movie. He refilled her water bottles for her. He always makes her something to eat if she asks. He also always folds the laundry a job this girl hates. Even when she wants to fold it at times he won't let her. She is lucky and doesn't know why at times she still balks and acts bad. Maybe she craves the discipline she gets for being bad. This girl should be on her knee's thanking him every day for all the things he does for her. He is the best husband/Master owner lover a girl could ever ask for. Maybe this girl doesn't say this enough, and if so she is sorry. He gives her such pleasure all the time, and when she asked for pain he became a Master at that as well to please her. There sessions are always so much fun, and just him touching this girl makes her so wet and ready that she can hardly wait to explode for him. She loves touching and licking him, and doesn't know why at times she is a brat about it. Please Master forgive this girl for all her faults, take her and mold her as you see fit, gag her and slap her for her attitude, and hopefully she will soon be a credit to you. My heart as yours for the taking Master, on my knee's I swear to serve and love you for always. Please let me serve you always....

Friday March 30, 2007

Hard to believe my love just grows more for my Master every day. Even though sometimes its still hard to express myself in person. Now our sessions are more about his pleasure then mine, and even though the adjustment is hard he deserves that. There are some things i'm still having a hard time with that he wants. This girl is working on them, she didn't think she'd have such a hard time with her stamina still. This girl gets tired quickly when she's the one doing the work instead of Master. Am trying to increase my stamina, but not sure how. Also was hoping we'd do more bondage, and try some new things but haven't. Love being Master's model for pics, but don't do that often either. Guess maybe we should try some role play, as Master wants me to be his hot little slut. This girl can't just get into that role easily. She has trouble saying nasty sexual things out loud, and still blushes scarlett and stammers when she tries. Maybe if they actually set up a role play scene maybe a prison guard and his prisoner it might work easer. To stay out of trouble this girl is trying to stay off yahoo(sorry to all my friends), yet now Master tells her she can talk to her friends. This is confusing to me, becouse if can't flirt and talk about sex there isn't a lot left to talk about. Have not earned a whipping for last two days so maybe this girl is getting better. Maybe Master is just being nice not sure which. Well which ever am glad of it. Master's little slut pet concubine lover wife slave Dark Angel forever....

Still simmering

Well have had a day to think before writing this one. Got in huge trouble agian yesterday. This time for chatting on yahoo. Master says this girl knew she was going wrong, and they had discussed this. She wasn't cybering though, but she did share pictures of herself which Master doesn't approve of. He confronted her with the print out of her chat, like she'd delibertly done wrong. This girl isn't stupid if she'd truly thought she'd done wrong whe would not have left archiving on her yahoo for her Master to read her chat. She turned on archiving when she accepted him as her Master, and let him know it was on. Why would this girl do that if she thought she was doing wrong? Now she is not allowed to talk to any Doms or Dommes yet she wasn't talking to one anyway. The person she was actually talking to was a friend she'd known online for over a year. Before she took her Master's collar when this girl was still being ignored this guy she was talking with had been her cyber partner. She hadn't talked to him in months becouse she never gets up early anymore, just this one day she'd had trouble sleeping becouse of some worries and had got up extremaly early and just happened to catch her on. Yes she shared pics of her Master's handiwork, becouse she is proud of her Master and likes to show off. She knew she would probaly not see or talk to this guy agian after this one chat, since she does not get up anymore early when he is on, and she wanted to share pics for the last time. Master doesn't believe this girl when she told him she wasn't camming with this guy, and he was really angry. His anger and refusel to believe her hurt a hell of a lot worse then the whipping she got for her actions. This girl likes to flirt and tease online, she has never done so offline. Now Master doesn't believe this girl about other encounters either. The reason girl never came clean about these past encounters is becouse they didn't mean a thing to her, and the only reason they happened at all was becouse she was being pushed away. The one that got her into this lifestyle she talked to him mainly online she actually met him twice in public places and gave him a blow job once in his car that was it. No she never told her Master becouse she didn't want to hurt him. Even when she left for a week to go meet a couple in another city she did not have sex. She gave him a bj once, and that was it. She spent the whole week she was away helping them clean and organize. The only person she cheated on her husband with since they'd been married was John and he knew about that. Yes it was a mistake and she never wanted to truly leave, which is why John didn't last long. He wanted this girl to move in with him and she refused still hoping her husband would relize they had problems wake up and work with her on solving them. He doesn't want this girl to share her pics, yet he doesn't share them either. Maybe he is ashamed of this girl that he doesn't want others to see the prove of his love and dovetion to her? He never writes comments on this girls blogs so she doesn't know what he thinks of the things she says. Same thing when she sends him personilized poems she has written for him so she doesn't know what he thinks. She will miss all her friends online immensanly as they kept her sane, and provided her with hours of entertainment, but if Master is that insecure he feels he can't trust this girl guess she can not talk to them anymore. After her punishment this girl serously thought about harming herself. If Master can't accept her for who she is, what is left for her? Yes was momentary weakness, but she was very upset and angry. This girl understands his reasoning, but she truly loves to talk to others and make others feel good. If someone actually enjoys this girls company she is honoured and always glad to talk with them. Well guess none of what this girl says matters. Master's word is law so guess she will find other ways to occupy the time she once spent talking with her friends. She was punished so it's over and done with. This girl has to accept that and let it go even if it is hard to do....she never meant to hurt Master's feelings and that is all she is truly sorry for.

In trouble agian....sigh

This girl thought that Master trusted her and even wrote that the other day, but she was wrong. Now she's in trouble agian and having trouble understanding the reasoning, becouse it was all a misunderstanding. Yesterday Master came and saw girl typing in yahoo. All he saw was the reply someone had sent her that said dance? He did not see that she has just sent the smily face figure dancing to the person, and he didn't want to hear her explanation. He just told her stay off yahoo. Well Girl went back in under invisable, just to explain that she was banned for the evening and wouldn't be back on. Now Master is really angry, becouse she disobeyed even though she felt she was just being polite. Now this girl is just waiting for the punishment she knows is coming, but she doesn't feel it's earned. Its Master's right to do as he wishes, but she just wants it explained exactly what she did wrong. Yes this girl knows she should not have logged back in if even for a second and she accepts the wrong doing in that, but Master should know her well enough to know that she could never just log off while talking to a friend with no explanation. Its rude and annoying and she wouldn't want someone doing so to her. She wishes Master would trust her more. Maybe he feels need to have a tighter controll, but he could have had girl servicing him or sitting at his feet. He knew girl was online, and when she is online she has friends she talks to. Well it's noone's fault but this girls, so she will take what he gives and not argue or whine though she so wants too. This girl admits she does flirt and tease online, but she loves her Master and would never willingly hurt him. If her actions caused him hurt in this instance she is so very sorry. This girl should be on her knee's begging forgiveness, yet pride is hard to swollow. Pride vs. servitude well guess servitude wins. This girl gave her life to her Master and agreed to obey so even if she doesn't agree with him in this instance he is Master so what he says goes. Swollows pride and goes to beg for forgiveness, and hope the kiss of the whip is not to harsh today.