What is there to do but pull myself up...

So I went through my yahoo list and deleted all the people I talked to long ago, and don't anymore. I got rid of everyone out of my address book there too. Why keep them if they never talk to me anymore? I am letting go of the past in order to try and find my future. Today I've had major brain fog all day long. Just could not think. It was just put one foot in front of the other and do what needs to be done. I tried writing a bit, but could not get past the haze in my head to do so. I miss my baby, and she said she'd call me later never did. I know people get busy, and don't always have time but damn I need her voice to help me through the rough patches at times. She did finally leave me a text so I did not feel completly abandoned like I was starting too. I need to get back into a routine and fight this mental and physical exhaustion which seems to weigh me down. My throat has been so sore I haven't been swimming in a week which does effect my mental well being. Least when I do the swimming every day I feel like I accomplished one thing I set out to do even if its such a minor thing. I know I need to set a goal daily and accomplish at least that one goal, but right now so tired can't think much less figure out what goals I should do every day. All I know is can't keep going down this road I'm going down. I have to do something to change my path. I can't expect someone else to do it for me. All I have to do is look at my thigh and read the word hate curved there to remember why I have to change. I can't keep living like I am. Its becoming a struggle just to get moving every day anymore, and life should not be that way. I have plenty of time on my hands, but I am not utilizing that time. Of course I have wrote words to this extent over in over in the time I've been blogging here, and I've yet to do more then minor changes. I'm on the computer off and on all day and never write like I said I was going too. This last month has been so hectic I've picked up old bad habits I thought I'd kicked for good. My nails look like a beaver gnawed through them. I have chewed them down past my fingers, and now they hurt. I stopped chewing on my nails years ago, and I guess the stress lately just got me started again. Well guess I will get some sleep and hope tomorrow looks brighter then today...